Heckles

Lectures are for learning, not eBay

I get it. It’s so easy to just open your browser during that boring, mid-afternoon lecture and zone out to Facebook, Pinterest, Buzzfeed, eBay, Twitter — whatever.

But in case you’ve forgotten, every single individual behind you has to see that your self-control is so pathetic that you can’t even focus for 75 minutes in the lectures  you’re paying thousands of dollars for. I’m the guy behind you. And I’m here because I want to succeed in my courses, and your online shopping experience is making that decidedly difficult. Who knows, you might even find the lecture interesting if you cared to look up from your screen — what a novel idea.

Do you remember a time when you used to care about what your professors were teaching you? Was there ever even such a time? Did you enter your program because you were fascinated with the subject, or was it only ever a means to an end?

All of these questions imply that maybe I care. And I, the guy behind you, don’t give a fuck that you’re bored, or if your degree is really just you going through the motions. I’m here for a reason. So if you’re not, do me and everyone behind you a favour and just skip the class. Because although you might see it as your right to do whatever you want on your computer, I also have a right to learn without being forced to see your bar photos from last night. If you don’t want to be in a classroom, don’t. But the rest of us are here to do more than just suck the air out of classrooms. We’re here because we want to be.