Andrew Ikeman | Fulcrum Staff
I LIKE TO walk everywhere. To work, to Parliament, to class; I very rarely use alternate transportation. As I walk around our great city, I can’t help but notice a trend: cyclists are douchebags. Now I do realize that there are many cyclists out there who are nice people, but the majority of them are assholes.
I live in the Golden Triangle, a neighbourhood just over the Corktown Bridge, and every day as I cross the bridge I try to be mindful of bikers. This is no easy feat, considering that over the last few weeks I have seen the number of douchebag cyclists skyrocket. Last week I had to quickly move onto the grass to avoid a head-on collision with one, as he flipped me off while shouting a few choice expletives.
Also, dear douchebag cyclists, sidewalks are for pedestrians. Riding your hipster bike down the sidewalk is dangerous. I’ve gotten bowled over by a hipster on a bike before and it wasn’t an experience I’d ever wish to repeat. If you don’t want to ride your bike on the street, don’t ride your bike at all! King Edward Avenue does not have wide enough sidewalks for bicycles.
What’s another thing so many cyclists are guilty of? Believing they are above reading street signs. Newsflash, bikers: You must obey all traffic signs. In the past week I have seen at least 10 cyclists ignore the following: one-way streets, no-cycling signs, stop signs, and perhaps worst of all, red lights. In case you’ve never seen a cyclist run a red light, it is definitely a heart-stopping experience. You see the cyclist approach, the light change, the cars inch up…and no one is stopping. In the span of five seconds, you think you are about to see someone get seriously hurt.
Also, I would like someone to explain something to me. I was recently told that there are huge fines for riding a bike at night without a bell and lights. While this makes sense, apparently helmets have been forgotten. Obviously, if you have bells and lights, your brain must be safe. Right? Wrong.
In the end, you just have to think. Don’t be a douchebag. Be safe, ride safe, and most of all, stop flipping me off.