While my commitment-phobic best friend stood there watching me cry into a tub of ice cream, she looked at me with pity in her eyes and asked me the simple question: “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?” By “this,” she meant falling in love.
My boyfriend of two years had just moved out of our shared apartment, and I wasn’t taking it well to say the least. She was asking me why I keep racing at the opportunity to set myself up for heartbreak again and again. It wasn’t the first time she had seen me in that kind of sorry state.
Her question reminded me of the age-old question: Is it better to have loved and lost (like me), than never to have loved at all (like her)? I say yes, it is better.
Strange as it seems, I actually feel sorry for her, since she has never allowed herself to get close enough to someone to feel love. Despite the heartache I have felt, I remain wholeheartedly in favour of always giving love one more chance. What my friend doesn’t realize is that the euphoric high of being in love is unrivaled by any drug. It is the kind of high that is worth taking a chance on.
To have someone be so invested in making sure you’re happy is something special, and it is becoming increasingly rare in a world full of narcissism. There are always ups and downs, but knowing that someone cares for you as much as you care for them is indescribable. It can definitely be scary feeling so dependent on someone, and putting your happiness in their hands. But you are comforted by the knowledge that they are just as dependent on you.
That’s the thing about love: it’s a constant give and take. When love doesn’t work out it can be earth-shattering and devastating. But when it does work out, the experience is soul-shaking and it changes you for the better.
That is why, in spite of all of the times that I, and many others, have been let down by love, we get right back in line to try again. There’s simply nothing else that compares to it, and you shouldn’t be discouraged by a couple of bad experiences. You have to keep trying.
If you ask me, it is a far bigger loss to never love than it is to love and then lose it.