Where are we really from?
Sofia Hashi | Fulcrum Staff
Photo illustration by Mathias MacPhee and Tina Wallace
MEN AND WOMEN are the same. No, we’re different. Well, we’re kind of the same, actually. The battle of the sexes has been around for centuries. And while the bravest and most intelligent minds have gone toe to toe on this matter, the question still remains: just how different or similar are girls and guys?
Over 20 years ago, author and relationship counsellor John Gray seemingly answered this question. Coining the phrase “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus,” his book of the same name was a major success. With millions of copies sold and rumours of a big-budget Hollywood film in the works, Gray has undoubtedly influenced our understanding of gender.
In his book, Gray attempts to break down gender differences in simplistic and non-scientific ways; for example, he says, “Men need to learn to listen” and “Women deal with stress by talking with each other.”
Sounds simple, right? But science wouldn’t be so quick to reduce gender to a simple catchphrase or rudimentary rules of thumb.
“Sex is not nearly as confining a category as stereotypes and even some academic studies would have us believe,” said Bobbi Carothers, a data analyst at Washington University, in an interview with Huffington Post.
Oxford University linguist Deborah Cameron believes that Gray’s book perpetuates an idea of gender that is harmful.
“Gender is a part of identity, so no matter where you go, there are going to be some differences between women and men; but there’s no big difference,” said Cameron in an interview with the CBC.
“There’s no ‘men are from Mars, women are from Venus.’”
So, why the ongoing debate? Weren’t traditional gender roles questioned and already addressed in the women’s rights movement? Didn’t our philosophy class teach us that generalizations are dangerous?
Besides the obvious biological differences, modern science asserts we’re all more alike than we are different. And the idea that men and women hail from different planets (I’ll avoid using the lame pun about us all being earthlings) has been refuted as well. But why the continuation of these stereotypes? Why do Gray and countless other supposed self-help gurus continue on with these ideas?
The most obvious answer is that it sells. The battle of the sexes is a topic that creates heated discussions no matter where you stand. Most people have an opinion on the topic, whether founded or not.
Overly simplistic ideas of gender that are based on conjecture rather than science only prove one thing: we’re too gullible. We’re all looking for relationship advice. Even if you’re in the most perfect relationship, there are bound to be some roadblocks. If there are books offering quick and easy solutions, why wouldn’t we buy them?
The problem is that not only are these gender categorizations potentially harmful, they also completely disregard non-heterosexual relationships and subsequently ignore a large population of earthlings (sorry, I couldn’t resist). The differences or similarities between men and women can’t be summed up in a catch phrase. Modern-day science would agree. And really, do you want to be from a planet where it either rains sulphuric acid (Venus) or has a carbon dioxide level of 95 per cent (Mars)? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
