The Tomato

Squat vs Bluebery
Blueberry will be running against Squat the raccoon, who previously held the position of safety commissioner. Image: Dasser Kamran/Fulcrum

Who is the U of O’s more beloved animal?

This year’s election season just grew tenser following the announcements of Blueberry the goose running for the University of Ottawa Students’ Union (UOSU) position of nature and sustainability commissioner.

Blueberry will be running against Squat the raccoon, who previously held the position of safety commissioner. Representatives from both campaigns are in high anticipation of the position results.

“Blueberry is a very capable bird,” said Sticks, Blueberry’s campaign manager. “They were very active in the Gainer Geese community and are always advocating on behalf of nature.”

The recently created nature commissioner position will work in conjunction with various appropriate sustainability committees and student organizations to ensure the campus is reaching the highest of eco-friendly standards.

“Geese are outside all the time, and in various terrains, so Blueberry is more than eager to work within various environments,” said Sticks. “Unlike racoons, who spend most of their time dumpster diving.”

Di Daniels, a third-year environmental sciences student and Squat’s campaign manager, is not swayed by their opponent’s campaign. Rather, she is very confident about another victory.

“The U of O students love Squat. He’s more approachable than people think, he has his rabies shots, and is very resourceful. Squat takes the saying ‘one man’s trash is another’s treasure’ a little too close to heart,” said Daniels.

“Squat feels like this position was created specifically for him. Who better to discuss sustainability than a raccoon?” 

Both Squat and Blueberry have declined to comment but will share their campaign promises in the following week.