The Tomato

Squat and Blueberry
Image: Dasser Kamran/Fulcrum
Reading Time: < 1 minute

“We didn’t want to recount the votes,” said the Election Committee

Following a tightly-contested race for the new position of nature and sustainability commissioner, both Blueberry the Goose and Squat the Raccoon have been declared the victors.

With a 98 per cent student vote turnout — a new record for the student union — both Blueberry and Squat have each secured 50 per cent of the vote. After 20 hours of counting and confirming votes, the University of Ottawa’s Student Union Speedy Ballots team decided to make both candidates co-commissioners.

“I did not want to spend another day staring at my screen and recounting votes for a raccoon and a goose, so I suggested we make them co-commissioners,” said Speedy Ballots secretary Papry Cutiss. “Our president suggested it to the election committee and there we have it.”

“I think I did them a favour, to be honest. They’ve been very friendly during the entirety of the campaign and really enjoyed each other’s ideas,” Cutiss continued.

Di Daniels, a third-year environmental sciences student, who is also Squat’s campaign manager, is fairly disappointed in the results but still optimistic for Squat’s future.

“We broke a record for most obnoxious Facebook posts for a campaign,” said Daniels. “But Squat definitely deserved the position, he’s more passionate about garbage than anyone I know. Let’s just hope that Blueberry is cooperative.” 

The two candidates will combine their platforms and release a new press release in the following weeks. Blueberry and Squat will also host a translated Instagram Live on April 1 to hear student criticism and opinion.