Latest Boardashians episode highlights antics of U.S. president

Security at the University of Ottawa has increased tenfold over the past few weeks, including a number of men in dark suits and sunglasses, leaving many students wondering if this could mean the presence of a high-profile visitor.

“Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. He just moved here all the way from the Washington, D.C.,” Peggy Duvall, a professor in Canadian history told her first-year class on Tuesday, Nov. 7. “His name is Donald. Donald Trump.”

The U.S. president will be taking time off from his golf excursions and occasional visits to the White House to attend part-time classes at the U of O for the 2017-18 academic year.

Some students have shown excitement towards Trump’s enrolment at the university.

“One time, Donald Trump punched me in the face. It was awesome!” said Brittany Byrd, a third-year political science student who volunteered for Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

However, many other members of the U of O community have expressed concern over having such a polarizing figure on campus.

“I’m not sure if having Mr. Trump here is such a good idea, considering his repeated threats to human rights, and, well, the stability of the international community,” Smith Davis-Champions, a fourth-year international development and globalization student told the Tomato.

Trump, who had been passing by Tomato reporters during the interview, said, “Stop trying to make human rights happen! They’re never going to happen!”

Trump has also called for the closing down of two other campus newspapers, the Fulcrum and la Rotonde, calling them “fake news.” This media censorship has led to many questioning whether the U.S. president is restricting freedom of speech on campus, or perhaps if he has something to hide.

“That’s why his toupee is so big. It’s full of secrets,” said Anjie Karma, a third-year communications student and news editor for the Fulcrum.  

A recent episode of the MTV hit Keeping Up with the Boardashians also showed Trump at odds with many members of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO)’s Board of Administration.

“Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by Donald Trump,” said SFUO president Wadi Hess at the board’s Nov. 15 meeting.

The entire room raised their hands.

“Perhaps our university administration should consider whether allowing such a problematic individual on our campus is such a good idea,” said Hess.

Pushback from the federation, and student groups across campus, has led to a series of angry tweets by Trump.

“Why would Wadi Hess insult me by calling me ‘problematic,’ when I would NEVER call him ‘corrupt and questionable?’ Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen!”

The university administration has yet to make a formal decision on whether or not to expel Trump. However, many students have expressed that keeping him at the U of O could prove beneficial, as he will be unable to pass damaging legislation at the White House.

In a confessional during the latest Boardashians episode, Trump said, “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m so popular!”