Dear Di,
I’m all about the social distancing for the sake of safety, really. I’m all for doing my part. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been having a hard time with the loss of all sexual contact for the last two weeks. I’ve never been into virtual sex, but now seems like a good time to start. What can I do?
— Horny & Homebound
Dear H&H,
If you’ve been on the internet lately, you’ll see that unfulfilled sexual needs are plaguing many of us stuck in quarantine. There hasn’t really been a better time to delve into virtual sex than now, when there’s little alternatives. Lucky for us, the digital revolution has equipped us all with webcams, which opens up a whole world of opportunities.
FaceTime (or Skype, Whatsapp, Facebook — whatever you want to use) sex has been a staple of long distance partners for as long as videochat has been an option. While it can’t replace the skin-to-skin art of real life sex, it can provide you with a much-needed outlet for those pent up feelings.
The basics of video sex usually consist of a couple of people (or more, you do you), their webcams, and masturbation. But there are a few things you should know before you dive right in.
For example, masturbating and FaceTiming simultaneously can make for some pretty shitty camera work. Some frequent FaceTimers in a Men’s Health article recommend using your laptop, or if you’re really going for that pro look, a tripod to make life easier and to help with those angles.
Also, video sex can be a little awkward, especially if you’re just jumping into a call, taking off your clothes and going for it. Just because its online doesn’t mean that the fundamentals of regular sex, like foreplay and communication, go out the window. The same testimonies in Men’s Health vouch for a little bit of teasing; like starting with the face and working your way down, or undressing for the camera.
Like I said before, communication is key for good video sex; I mean, it is for all good sex, but its even more important here. Dirty talk can really help set the mood, and video chat might give you a great opportunity to play with some dominance/submission dynamics. Telling each other what to do to yourself could get a little spicy if you get creative with it.
And lastly, sex toys. This will be so much more fun for both of you if you have a little more to work with than just your two hands. Plus it gives you something else to control when you’re giving your partner commands. Pick your poison (check out my guide if you’re new to that, too), but trust that it’ll make the whole experience a lot more interesting.
And lastly, just don’t take it too seriously. You’ll both know that this is a desperate times, desperate measures situation. And it’s bound to be a little awkward, but come on, it’s like interactive porn, just relax and have some fun with it.
Happy Skyping!
Love,
Di
