Dear Ty

Illustration: Nicole Rutkowski.

Dear Di,

When I jerk off I only have two settings—hard and fast. I try to use the same method on my girlfriend’s happy place, but she keeps saying I’m working it too aggressively. So how do I get her off with my hands?

-Handy Man

Dear HM,

The treasure map to your partner’s clitoris should always be ventured in a calm, gentle, light touching manner. She does not want rough hands or sharp nails in the most sensitive part of her body.

Usually one or two fingers works best. Using delicate motions will also ensure she can trust your fingers down there without fear of physical pain, which could leave her both mentally and physically turned off. Adding a dab of lube can be a big help in getting your fingers into a good rhythm.

You should also make sure you’re in a physical position where you have maximum mobility with your fingers.

If you are not getting any verbal assistance from her, be sure to ask her to tell you what her favourite position is, or ask her to physically guide your hand.

If you’re feeling frustrated, remember to be patient. After all, you get the privilege of exploring her happy place and being the reason behind her sexual pleasure. That’s worth a little hand cramping in the end.

Love,

Di


Dear Di,

My boyfriend is 20 years old and he started using Viagra for a longer erection. But it’s not like he can’t get it up, he’s just doing it for fun. Is this safe? I mean, I don’t have any complaints, but will this be a problem in the long-run?

-Au Naturel

Dear AN,

Well, if unchecked, this could turn into a big problem. Pun intended.

At the end of the day, Viagra is a pharmaceutical, and just like any other drug on the market there is the risk of addiction. In this case, if your man starts popping pills on the regular, he might run the risk of getting his erections without really working for them.

This means that not only will he get used to an instant hard-on, but now there’s an expectation that is being created in his mind. Psychologically speaking, this means that a dependence on medication can occur every time he wants to get off.

In other words, it could makes him lazy or even incapable of developing these feelings and the thrill of sexual excitement naturally.

If you want to steer your man clear of the little blue pills, try and give him more incentive to pursue that kind of sexual excitement naturally. Figure out what really turns him on and then turn it up to 11. You should also reassure him that you have no complaints about his natural hard-on.

Hopefully, your man will pour those enhancements down the drain, leaving the pill popping to the geriatrics of the world.

Love,

Di