Dear Di,
At a work party a couple of weeks ago, a coworker of mine had one too many and let it slip that she and her boyfriend had talked about asking me to have a threesome with them. I’ve always wanted to try a ménage à trois and she’s smoking hot, so I’m extremely tempted. Problem is, we work really closely together, and I don’t want to make things uncomfortable at work. She knows I’m interested, but I’m not sure that the consequences of actually following through would be worth it. What should I do?
—Not Sure if it Adds Up
Dear NSAU,
You’ve got the right instincts—mixing business and pleasure can be tricky. There are certain things to keep in mind and a few ground rules you should consider if you decide to take them up on their offer.
Relationships can get complicated after threesomes, even without the fact that you’re considering having one with a coworker. If it’s just the thought of an additional person in the room that whets your appetite, and not your sexy coworker, consider looking elsewhere for threesome partners. A no-strings attached threesome won’t have consequences at work.
If you decide to accept the invitation from your coworker, both of you should promise yourselves and each other that whether the experience is good, bad, awkward, or out of this world, it will not affect your work relationship. No matter how your lovemaking session turns out, though, your personal relationship is likely going to change. Try to keep whatever fun you get into on the down low at work. Agree not to talk, text, or otherwise mention the deed from nine to five.
It’s also a good idea to set some expectations for the sex itself, especially if you want to get the ménage à trois experience, and not just bang your coworker while her man watches. Figure out what you all want out of the session in the sack, and do your best to ensure no one feels like they’re getting the short end of the dick in the heat of the moment. Threesomes are about everyone indulging in their own pleasure, so make sure you’re doing that. Also, play safe! Condoms and toys shouldn’t be shared between partners, so make sure to have plenty on hand.
Lastly, have fun and try to relax. Thinking too much about what consequences may occur in the future will take you out of the present. Bring a bottle of wine over as a nice gesture for your hosts (who may be feeling pretty nervous themselves), and have a glass each to help get you in the mood and take some of the pressure off. At the end of the day, it’s only sex, no matter how many people are in the bed.
Love,
Di
