Dear Ty

Dear Di,

During 101 Week I heard multiple people joke about using vibrators. Now I’m interested in trying one, but I don’t know anything about them. Would you be able to give me a quick primer on these devices?

-Good Vibrations

Dear GV,

Exploring the wonderful world of sex toys is important at your age. After all, if you don’t know what turns you on, how is a future partner supposed to learn?

While you should still attempt to explore your body sans vibrator, there is still lots of fun to be had. So if you’re interested, don’t hesitate to give it a go.

A moment of clarification here may be needed, since people tend to confuse dildos and vibrators. Vibrators are battery operated and typically meant to focus on the surface area like the clitoris. Dildos, however, are designed to be penis replicas in their shape. The lovely thing about penis-shaped vibrators and dildos is that they can be used to stimulate both the anus and vagina. While penis-shaped toys are commonplace in pop culture, luckily, you can get vibrating devices in many shapes and sizes.

For the adventurous men reading, there are a variety of vibrators to stimulate all of your sensitive spots. From vibrators that fit around your balls, to vibrating prostate massagers, the opportunities for experimentation are endless. For the lusty ladies, some vibrators are double-pronged to stimulate both your clitoris and your G-spot.

After determining which device suits your specific needs, you are ready to seek and satisfy.

If you do get a vibrator, remember to always keep sex toys clean. Liberal use of hygiene spray can keep your toys free from bacteria.

When it comes to sex toys, it’s best to take things one step at a time. Make sure to start up a new vibrator on a speed you’re comfortable with, and build up the intensity as your body adjusts.

If you’re in res, it’s always a good idea to keep in mind that some toys are louder than others. The ones with AC adaptors may be extra strong and powerful, so they may be too loud for a dorm room.

If you love to act dirty in the shower or bath, you should remember that not all vibrators are waterproof, so make sure you investigate that fact before you get started.

If you want to take your vibrator with you for long-distance travel, make sure you lock it down and take out the batteries.

If airport security asks you to explain or identify your pleasure treasure on the x-ray scan, don’t be afraid to own up to it. Airport security has definitely seen stranger things than a vibrator, so try not to feel embarrassed about it!

For more information, check out some of Ottawa’s local sex shops. Establishments like Venus Envy, Aren’t We Naughty, or festivals like the annual Ottawa Sexapalooza should have a more extensive selection of items for your new toy chest.

Love,

Di


Dear Di,

Last night my partner told me that they want me to be more “romantic” in our relationship. I was so surprised at the comment, I never even asked for clarification. And now that I’m thinking about it, asking my partner what they mean by “romantic” just seems naive and embarrassing. Am I simply supposed to spend more money or make more time for them?

-Romance Reject

Dear RR,

Some people may see romance as a Shakespearean sonnet, while others may view it as simply holding hands. When the subject of “romance” comes up, it can be broadly defined as any gesture really that is showing your partner you are thinking of them.

A lot of people shy away from the idea of “romance” because they think it comes packaged with a hefty price tag, like eating at an expensive restaurant or a surprise trip to Paris.

But in reality, the most romantic gestures are the most thoughtful, not necessarily the most costly. In fact, the time you put in to demonstrate you thought of your partner is the most thoughtful expression of romance.

For example, leaving a personal love note that details how your partner’s dimples make you weak costs next to nothing. Plus, buying their favourite obscure candy, sneaking in a kiss when they least expect it, bringing them coffee before class, and giving lots of  hugs on a hard day are all similarly low on cost.

The things is, if your partner wants more romance, whether or not you are already trying, it just means they want more attention from you. This could be compensating for some extra stress they’ve run into in their life (back to school, or otherwise) and it may not even have to do with you personally. Either way, it’s important on both the good and bad days to take a second to make your partner feel appreciated, loved, and understood. This will make all the difference.

The end game to romance is that you should always be on the lookout to find little ways to make your partner smile. Not only will it bring you closer together, but the time you spend together will also help provide your partner with a greater peace of mind.

Love,

Di