Dear Ty

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Dear Di,

I have a professor who gets my panties wet. I don’t want to give too much away, but he is tall, dark, handsome, and teaches my French class. I’ll call him Monsieur Sexy. Every time Monsieur Sexy starts lecturing, I start fantasizing. I imagine him whispering naughty things en Français and putting his hands all over my body. Once he called on me by name in his accent and I nearly fainted.

My problem is, like I mentioned, that he gets my panties wet. Not just damp, but sopping wet. I’m worried that I’m going to soak through to my pants one of these days—and there’s no way I’ll be able to wear cute thin skirts or shorts come warmer weather. I also think other people might be able to smell my arousal. Plus, it’s just really uncomfortable having non-dry underwear on through the rest of the day.

Is there something I can do to get turned on less? Should I just give up and wear a panty liner whenever I have Monsieur Sexy’s class? He’s a married man, so I don’t think I would hook up with him even if I got the chance to, but I don’t know how else to get over him.

—Missing my Non-Soaked Skivvies

Dear MNSS,

Oh la la! You seem to have a thing for the French, madame. While I’m sure you’re also attracted to your professor—he’s in a position of authority and you find him physically appealing—from your question it appears that more than anything, you’re attracted to the way he talks.

Short of asking him, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”, which I’m glad you won’t be doing, there’s plenty you can do to alleviate your affections for the man. Get a set of Rosetta Stone DVDs or watch a steamy movie in French—and get off to it before class. Sure, you might still be a bit turned on by your prof, but having just heard the accent you love so much will dull the excitement of hearing his.

If hearing French outside of the classroom doesn’t quench your thirst for Monsieur Sexy, the solution may be to picture him doing something disgusting. Imagine him cutting his toenails on public transit or picking his belly button lint while chowing down sloppily on a Big Mac. Might I also suggest focusing on what he’s saying, not how he’s saying it? Easier said than done, but if you can focus more on the class than your prof, you’ll avoid getting too turned on and your grades won’t suffer!

Also, don’t worry too much about other people smelling you! Unless your discharge is a funky colour (green or brown) or you yourself can detect a fishy odour—in which case you need to get to a doctor ASAP to check for infections—chances are that you’re way more sensitive to your own smell than anyone else is. Wearing a panty liner is a great idea if it makes you more comfortable, and if you’re more feeling more at ease, you may be able to control your fantasies better and end up not getting all too wet at all.

Last tip: Keep an extra pair of panties in your bag. Switching after class is NBD—hot professors happen, and sometimes there’s not much else you can do.