Dear Ty

Illustration: Christine Wang.

Dear Di,

I’m planning a big trip to Europe this summer with my partner, but we’ve gone on trips together before and I find we don’t end up having sex often because we’re so exhausted from all our sightseeing. If we are in the mood, we’re usually staying in a hostel and don’t want to be the annoying couple banging in the bunk bed. How can I keep my sex life alive while travelling?

—Celibate Sightseer

Dear CS,

When you’re exploring mysterious new lands, there’s no reason you have to sacrifice exploring familiar terrain between the sheets. To ease the pressure, I would recommend planning a few things out before you pack your bags.

First and foremost, make sure to know the attitude of your host countries towards sex. While Europe is a generally open destination, attitudes can vary. For example homosexuality is illegal in 72 countries around the world, and is still taboo in many other places. In Europe, among the worst offenders are countries like Azerbaijan, Russia, Turkey, Poland, and even Italy.

While gay men have generally been the targets of such legislation, more and more countries are criminalizing gay and bisexual women. Other countries might not be too welcoming to PDA regardless of sexual orientation, so mark these down as the places you don’t want to be caught kissing.

You should also make sure you’re well supplied in terms of protection. Depending on your destination, condoms and/or birth control can be difficult to find, or get expensive, so plan ahead! The last thing you want to remember this trip by is ‘that time you thought you were pregnant’.

In terms of location, I would agree, you definitely don’t want to be “that couple” in the hostel. If you have the budget, pick a few nights of your trip to stay in an Airbnb or hotel room where you have more privacy. You could even make a night of it, by dressing up in a killer outfit sans undies, or opting for a more romantic restaurant for dinner. You won’t break your bank, but you’ll still get the opportunity to give your sex life the TLC it needs.

If you’re worried about initiating sex at the end of a day of exploring cobblestoned streets, and three too many glasses of wine, try having sex at the start of your day. It’ll give you a nice energy boost, and you’ll be more willing to take your time. Trying to get an early start to the itinerary? No problem, slip back to the hotel for a midday siesta and a little one-on-one time.

Vacations are also a great time to change things up. Try a new position, or have sex in front of a window with a great view, or on a breezy balcony. There’s something special about having anal sex for the first time in front of the Thames, or the Acropolis.

Another option is investing in some light, travel-size sex toys that are sure to spice up your trip. I would opt for re-chargeable rather than battery-powered toys as they’ll give you more bang for your buck. Just make sure you have adapters as outlets can vary from country to country. You can also opt for electricity-free toys like cock rings or rope.

Finally, you would be remiss to skip the gastronomic delights of Europe. Try some fresh fruit, spicy chilis, or renowned French cheese by eating it off your partner’s body.

Vacations are a time to experience something new, so don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone!

Love,

Di