I recently started dating this guy and it’s going really well, but while we were hooking up at his place we had to stay pretty quiet because we didn’t want to wake up his kids. I have to admit, I’m still in university and I’m kind of weirded out… like, I can’t take care of kids, I sometimes forget to feed myself! What should I do?
—Stressed, and Sexy, Stepdad
Fear not, I don’t think you’ll need to start changing diapers or making school pickups anytime soon. The first thing you should do is talk to your DILF and figure out where he stands on whether he would expect you to meet his kids, interact with them, or take care of them at all. Chances are he’s probably not ready to introduce someone new to them, but it’s good to be on the same page.
Have some pretty clear rules on what to expect when hanging out with your Papi. Will it only be when the kids are at their mom’s place (assuming they have a custody agreement) or out of the house? As long as you clearly communicate your boundaries then everything should run smoothly.
While this type of relationship is doable, there are some drawbacks you should consider. While kids are cute, they kind of take the spontaneity out of a relationship, so don’t expect any surprise vacations, or sex on the living room floor. Expect that his kids are always going to come first, so don’t be surprised if he cancels on you last minute. Also, if he’s a few years older than you and has been through a serious enough relationship to result in offspring, he’s probably at a different stage in his life than you, so that could cause some complications. While you might bitch about your profs, he might be saving up for his kids’ college funds.
That said, kids in the picture means your man is put together enough to not only provide for himself, but for other humans as well! He’s probably more mature than your average hookup, and will less likely try to play games with you because he’s just played peek-a-boo for three straight hours. Come on, responsibility is sexy!
Horny Homework: Trick or Treat!
Keep your costumes on. Have him lay on his back on the bed/couch/monster laboratory. Face his feet, and mount him, propping your hands on his thighs. Swivel your hips, switching up directions and you’re sure to have him under your spell.
Dishing with Di: Dance for you
Halloween dates back centuries to the Middle Ages when trick or treaters didn’t just say trick or treat, but had to perform some sort of dance, or demonstrate talent in any other way. You can update this for 2017 and practice your dancing with your partner—I’m sure you’ll get a ton of treats!