Dear Di,
I don’t like using condoms with my girlfriend, but she isn’t on any sort of birth control. So, we were wondering how effective the good old pull-out method is?
-Riding Bare Back
Dear RBB,
The pull-out method is definitely the oldest form of birth control known to humanity, but its effectiveness depends on a variety of factors.
First of all, its success rate ranges from around 78 to 96 per cent if you perform withdrawal correctly. Men who have high self-control and are more experience are most likely to pull this off. For those who haven’t clocked in that much quality time between the sheets, you should know that the right moment to shift into full reverse is when you’ve reached the point of no return—where you can no longer postpone ejaculation.
However, some experts still believe that even this strategy is extremely risky. Many are concerned with the reality of pre-cum, which may be able to pick up leftover sperm in your urethra from the previous ejaculations. You can decrease the chances of getting your girlfriend pregnant if you urinate between ejaculating, which should clear you right out.
Finally, make sure that when you cum you don’t get any sperm on your partner’s vulva, as it can still travel up the uterus and trigger pregnancy.
At the end of the day, the advantages of the pull-out method are that it’s simple, easy, and free (you don’t have to buy condoms). However, this method is still not ideal in the long run since it can be unreliable to prevent pregnancy, it interrupts the natural flow of sex, and it requires you be sexually experienced and self-aware in order to pull it off successfully.
It’s very important to remember that the bare back nature of the withdrawal method does not protect you from STIs. So, unless you and your partner have been checked out lately, contraceptives for both parties are always recommended.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
Last night I met a man in a bar, and we hit it off right away. One thing lead to the next and we ended up doing the beast with two backs at my place. Then, during intercourse, I started to queef… a lot. It’s never happened to me before, so needless to say I was mortified. Is there any way to prevent queefing during sex?
-Madam Queefs A Lot
Dear MQL,
For those of you who aren’t in the know, a queef is a vaginal fart. However, since it’s caused by air that is pushed into the vagina through the act of thrusting, it isn’t accompanied with a foul odour that’s normally associated with gas from the anus.
While queefing might feel a little embarrassing, it’s still a natural part of sex and there’s very little that can be done to eliminate it entirely. If it really makes you uncomfortable you can ask your partner to not thrust as hard (focus on grinding instead). The less air that’s pushed inside you, the less it will occur.
When it does happen, you can easily soften the blow by doing some crisis management. Either ignore it and carry on, or acknowledge the moment and laugh it off. You can also politely explain to your partner that a queef isn’t a fart in the traditional sense, if you think they’d find that reassuring.
But honestly, queefing is so common in the act of love making that trying to stop it from happening may actually detract from your overall pleasurable experience. Instead, it’s best if women and men embrace queefing as a part of everyday sex.
Besides, everyone’s sexual history is built on awkward moments, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it picture perfect every time.
Love,
Di
Sex position of the week: the Glowing Triangle
This position is classic missionary, but with a twist that gives women all the power. Get your partner on all fours above you, enter him, and be sure to tilt your hips upward. Place your hands around your partner’s neck for added support and to give yourself better positioning. Ladies, you are in the driver’s seat. Go wild! And your man has the added bonus of watching your breasts bounce up and down.
P.S. This position can easily work for two lady lovers as well ;)
