Dear Di,
Have you heard of autofellatio? Is it dangerous to try? I’m interested in the possibility of sucking myself off. I think I could do a pretty good job, but I’m also a little grossed out by the thought of tasting my own cum. Not sure how to proceed here, Di—what should I do?
—Off On My Own?
Dear OOMO,
Of course I’ve heard of autofellatio—what good sex columnist hasn’t? The name is pretty self-explanatory, but for those who don’t know, autofellatio is a blow job that a man gives himself.
There’s nothing dangerous about your mouth coming into contact with your member. What can be tricky, and potentially risky, are the acrobatics necessary to get into a position where your lips reach your love stick. A 1954 study reported that less than one per cent of men can successfully perform a front bend that would allow their mouths to peck their peckers. Getting a whole wiener down one’s own throat is a feat only three in 1000 men can perform.
The front bend, however, is not the only way to get your tool to the tip of your tongue. Get gravity on your side. If you lie on your bed and can swing your legs up and over your head, your schlong will be dangling right over your mouth. Whether or not you can maintain that position for long enough to suck yourself off is another story.
How else can you achieve prick to pie-hole nirvana? Training! Regularly practicing gymnastics or yoga may make it possible to successfully get what you want from yourself.
As for the ick factor, you’ll probably find out exactly where you stand on tasting your own cum when it happens. It’s perfectly healthy to swallow your own load, but if the thought makes you cringe, be prepared to get your mouth away from your penis when you feel you’re about to blow. In the heat of the moment, you may find yourself willing to take a taste. Some men find it super erotic, and finishing off inside a wet, warm mouth is arguably more enjoyable than just jerking it at the end. If you can comfortably get your soldier into your smacker, you may find yourself loving the process and the results.
I recommend enjoying yourself fully.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
How can I convince my boyfriend to snowball with me? I really think the idea of passing his cum from my mouth to his and back is super sexy, but I’m afraid to approach him because he might think I’m weird and gross. Should I just go for it one night after he’s had an orgasm in my mouth?
—Jizzabella
Dear S,
If you haven’t yet approached him about this, it could be risky to suddenly surprise your guy with his own splooge right when he’s coming down from an orgasm. Is there something to suggest he might be game? If he’s normally willing to kiss you after you give head, I say next time go ahead and try leaving a little bit of his love juice in your mouth. Swirl the cum around his tongue with yours, moan a bit to show how much it turns you on, and gauge his reaction.
If, on the other hand, he always insists that you brush your teeth and gargle with Scope before he’ll get anywhere near your lips post-BJ, you’re better off broaching the subject before your next session in the sack.
There are various ways to bring this up while leaving yourself an easy-out in case he does end up finding it kinda weird. You can try finding porn that depicts what you want to do, then see how he reacts as you watch it together. Another option is to ask him about his fantasies and listen with an open mind before telling him about yours.
Hopefully he’s game, but some guys just won’t be willing to taste themselves. If this turns out to be the case, you can try to achieve the same eroticism another way—maybe suck on one of his fingers after a blow job, swirling the cum around his digit with your tongue then having him outline your lips with his semen.
Good luck, and I hope your snowballing experience culminates in a load of fun!
Love,
Di
