Dear Ty

Dear Di,

I’m a PhD student here at the U of O. I’m a mature male student as well as a very sexually open individual. I oftentimes find myself engaging in wonderful, torrid love affairs with first and second-year students, but lately I’ve run into a problem: When my latest lover starts “sexting” me between our physical encounters, I have no idea what his acronyms mean and I’m afraid he’ll lose interest if I don’t respond in a similar fashion. Can you come to my rescue, dearest Di?

—T9 is Fine

Dear T9F,

I’m glad you’ve found much satisfaction on our great campus—and I’m sure you’re engaging with individuals over the age of 18, right?

As for your sexting situation, there are two ways you can approach it. The first is to head over to Urbandictionary.com to look up whatever acronym your flirtatious phone friend sends you, and then respond as you please without worrying about sounding young and hip. Be yourself! If you get a text that says, “gimme ITS, TDTM about ur 8==>”* you can respond as yourself, exactly as you would if you were talking to your man face-to-face: “It’s so hard right now thinking about your sexy ass.” There’s no need to compromise spelling or capital letters if it makes you uncomfortable or feels unnatural! Your guy will appreciate that you’re not being phony.

If you’re hell bent on learning the lingo to impress a younger generation of lovers, here are some common sexting terms to start with:

 

53X = sex

8 = oral sex

Banana = penis

CU46 = see you for sex

GNOC = get naked on cam

GYPO = get your pants off

IMEZYRU = I’m easy, are you?

IWSN = I want sex now

J/O = jerking off

LH6 = let’s have sex

LHU = let’s hook up

NFS = need for sex

PRON = porn

TDTM = talk dirty to me

RUH = are you horny?

 

The easiest solution to your texting troubles: Send a message to your main squeeze explaining that you’re too horny to bother with this sexting nonsense, and that he should just get to your place “ASAP”. Trust me, he’ll know what that acronym means.

 

Love,

Di

 

*Rough text translation: Give me intense text sex, talk dirty to me about your penis.