Dear Di,
My partner and I are very adventurous in bed, and on our own. A lot of toys are involved, but there is a notable lack of toys for me (someone with a penis). This isn’t because I’m not interested in the idea, or that my partner is opposed. It’s a lack of variety.
Excluding anal stuff, the only options for cock possessing people are masturbation sleeves and cock-rings. Well, I’ve no desire for a cock-ring… as far as I’m aware they’re not gonna make me cum. As for sleeves, I’m not really interested in something that mimics sex (I have a partner, and that’s enough sex for me).
Do you know of any sex toys meant to give men orgasms? Is there anything like Lelo’s ORA for men
Please help.
-Toys II Men
Dear T2M,
I definitely feel your frustration. The range of sex toys available for men is lacking far behind that of women. Thankfully, there are a select few devices that can be incorporated in your sex life that pleasure both you and your partner.
For example, the We-Vibe couples vibrator can be a great addition to your repertoire as it slips right in your partner’s vagina, while stimulating your penis with vibrations at the same time.
You might be surprised to know that many female-centred sex toys can stimulate men as well. If your partner has vibrators, have them try to stimulate your balls on a low vibration while giving you oral. You can experiment using female sex toys to stimulate the rectum as well.
Also, I wouldn’t discount cock rings so quickly. You could always try something more sophisticated like Lelo’s Tor 2, which is a rechargeable, vibrating cock ring. The powerful vibrations from this toy is more than enough to make a lot of men cum.
In fact, Lelo’s has a number of other excellent sex toys for men. Two of the most popular are entitled Hugo and Bruno, slick and modern prostate massagers that claim to enhance male orgasms by 33 per cent.
The only real downfall for these products is that they are almost double the price of a standard female centred device like the Lelo ORA.
So, while there are some premium sex toys available for men, we still have a ways to go in terms of making them accessible and affordable for the average Joe.
Happy hunting!
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a while now and I used to want sex all the time! But recently I’ve found that I really don’t have any sex drive at all. It’s not that I don’t find my partner attractive, but I just don’t have the urge to be sexual with them. I mostly settle for platonic physical intimacy like holding hands or cuddling. Is there anything wrong with me?
-Wet No More
Dear WNM,
Sex drives tend to steadily decrease as your relationship evolves. As you grow closer together, your feelings of commitment and intimacy increase while erotic passion tends to decrease. That’s completely normal, but there could be a couple of other factors contributing to your decreased libido.
Many women are not aware that the birth control pill contains progesterone, which can decrease your sex drive over time. Other medications, like anti-depressants and beta blockers, can also affect your longing to get down and dirty.
But there’s nothing wrong with just wanting chaste physical intimacy instead of butt-slapping sex. A number of couples around the world remain in happy sexless relationships.
But if you do wish to shift your sex drive into a higher gear, here are a few things you can do.
Get off the pill and get on some birth control that doesn’t have hormones, like a copper intrauterine device (IUD) or a diaphragm.
Outside of that, be sure to ask your doctor if any of the medications you are taking can affect your sex drive and if there are any alternatives.
Lastly, incorporate some novelty in your sex life. Role playing can be a great way to introduce a whole new dynamic into the bedroom ;)
Love,
Di
Keep it Spice-y (three easy ways to amp-up your sex life)
1. Practice Yoga—according to a report from thehealthsite.com, men who practice yoga are able to last longer in bed!
2. Talk during sex—a study from Medical Daily found that those who talk dirty during sex reported being more sexually satisfied.
3. Go to a comedy club—laughing increases your blood flow and heart rate, which has been known to improve your sexual activity later in the night.
