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A SERIES OF sex store robberies have popped up across the United States over the past couple of weeks—events leaving police baffled because none of these criminals seem to be interested in stealing cash, preoccupied with grabbing saucy store merchandise.

The Smoking Gun reported on Jan. 12, a man in a ski mask entered Iowa City’s Romantix Pleasure Palace and proceeded to threaten an employee with a large hunting knife. The thief reportedly got away with a $250 “Mega Masturbator” sex doll, a product described by its manufacturer as something that “sounds and feels just like a real ass.”

According to the dispatch, a man from West Coast City, Md., was charged with burglary and destruction of public property after he broke into one of the red light district’s sex shops on Jan. 27. The store’s surveillance tape reveals the man got away with a $99 sex toy after smashing through the glass front door with his foot. Police were able to identify and later arrest the man as he left traces of blood at the crime scene.

In Sacramento, Ca., the owner of the Fantasy Factory was surprised when several teenagers broke into his shop in the middle of the night on Jan. 11 and did not steal cash but took $150 worth of magazines, videos, and dildos. In an interview with CBS-13, owner Kevin Couch stated, “They didn’t take the money or anything so I was lost. The sheriff’s department was lost.”

Despite the simplistic nature of the crimes, it is difficult to determine whether these criminals planned on selling the stolen goods or if they intended to keep them for recreational purposes. Sometimes these mysteries are better left unsolved.

—Kyle Darbyson