“Their services just weren’t sustainable. They went out and bought a mahogany record player chest from Value Village, which we allowed because it only cost 25 bucks—but the thing used up the same amount of energy it takes to light the new FSS building,” said Cherdon.

More widespread and contagious than any virus since the plague, this epidemic spreads not through contact, but by words. This danger is the overuse of the word “literally.”

We’ve all been there—you wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and realize you aren’t as slim or fit as you once were. Still, you’re far too lazy to actually get off the couch, unless, of course, your roommate proposes a trip to McDonald’s followed by dessert at the Beavertail stand. The solution: following these six easy exercises, perfect for someone who hates fitness; no weights, sweat, or pesky gym visits required.

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