The Tomato

Low numbers leave researchers baffled. Photo: CC, OAR via Flickr.

Researchers looking into long-term implications of newfound trend

A recent study led by University of Ottawa researcher Dr. Jarius Cross led to a shocking discovery. There was, collectively, zero reading done by U of O students during the winter semester reading week.

After sending a survey to every single one of approximately 43,000 U of O students, the research team failed to find a single student that studied over reading week.

“Of course about half the student population weren’t checking their student emails over reading week, but the ones who did respond all claimed they hadn’t read since before the winter break.” said Dr. Cross.

“We thought the graduate students or TAs would boost the numbers, but if anything they lowered the average, a couple of them got concussions while skiing and lost like half a semester of knowledge,” said D’Andre Keyes, a co-author on the study.

“Our questions were mainly centred on textbook readings, as well as Brightspace readings and if any assignments were worked on over the week. We didn’t count assignments with only their title page written as having been started.”

The study’s results may have an impact on future reading weeks, U of O president Jacques Frémont told the Tomato.

“If our students are coming back from reading week stupider than when they left, there’s a serious issue with the whole reading week system. Maybe we should just cut out all breaks, or maybe make an indefinite break from school, I haven’t decided.”

Frémont seemed to be preoccupied with ideas of retirement.

While the study did extensive research into the current state of reading at the U of O, the long-term implications of this low reading level are hazy.

“Arguably, these unprepared students should all fail their midterm assessments, but we’ve seen some of the miracles U of O procrastinators are capable of,” explains long-time professor Puck Corner.

“Honestly, whatever they throw together should be fine.”

The Tomato wishes all U of O students the best with their midterm assessments. And hopes that some of them did their readings.