Now, the Tomato has become aware of what can only be considered the next logical step in both the utter democratic degeneration and persistently amusing decision-making of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) and its handful of (former) executives.
What we saw was astounding. We found loads of professional-grade concert speakers set up all over the site, hooked up to one guy’s laptop playing “Epic Construction Ruckus Medley—10-hour Version” on YouTube.
It’s easy to tell who’s not in the know. They’re huddled together in large packs, attempting to stave off the cold, inappropriately dressed for the cold weather. They claim their moms were going to buy them a Canada Goose coat over Thanksgiving. It’s the first years.
“We’ve been named the seventh-happiest country in the world, and we couldn’t be happier,” said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
“Investing in Bitcoin is a perfect fit for the U of O and our stated principles,” said Frémont. “What could defy the conventional more than investing in the same thing as everyone else?”
While Canadians may be up in arms online around Tim Hortons’ response to the minimum wage hike, their response in person has been less than caffeinated.
According to LeSwank, funding for season three of the show came from profits from the recent Everybody Hates Everybody (EHE) Festival. The festival featured a controversial “pay to play” policy, where the SFUO selected artists to perform based on how many tickets they could sell.
Strange Globe and Mail article becomes a template for political marketing machine.
To help clear things up, the Tomato managed to get an interview with Trudeau. Suspiciously, the prime minister declined to make any comment, movement, or even blink.
“I’m so excited to learn everything about this important issue. I haven’t been able to find a job for nearly three years and now I understand why.”—Colleen McCafferty, third-year political science student.
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