The Tomato

The SFUO has relied on couch-crashing since its big break-up. Photo: CC, Flickr, edits, Rame Abdulkader.

Split comes after 50 years with the U of O

The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) sent out a Facebook message to all her friends following a break up of mass proportions. After 50 years, the University of Ottawa and the SFUO broke up after a fight that was anything but amicable. The lease on their current apartment was coming up in April, but after relying financially for so long on the U of O, it was time for the SFUO to move.

The message, which was sent at 1:05 a.m. the day following the split, went as follows. “Heyy I really need a place to stay for the next little bit. It’ll only be just for a few days. Couches are fine. Lmk, thx.”

The SFUO is a mature undergraduate student at the university, who has managed to stay enrolled by taking one class every semester for 50 years and changing her major twice. The apartment it previously inhabited, a central location in the heart of campus, is now being inhabited by the university and his new girlfriend, the University of Ottawa Students’ Union (UOSU).

The apartment boasts an all-inclusive price, including services, businesses, and other amenities. Additionally, the listing was advertised as furnished, but upon learning of her imminent eviction, the SFUO decided to try selling some of the university’s furniture, which they notably did not buy, to put towards a new place.

Currently, the SFUO is crashing on different friends’ couches and futons throughout the city until she can “get back on her feet.” According to one friend who wishes to remain anonymous, the SFUO is not a great roommate.

“She’s been here for weeks and is constantly borrowing money to spend on some pretty stupid stuff,” says the unnamed friend. “She leaves pamphlets and voting cards all over the place and keeps crying over old pictures from her ‘glory days’. I get that she’s in a tough spot right now, but it’s been almost a month. It’s time to move on.”

“She’s been commenting on all of the UOSU’s new facebook posts, it’s quite frankly embarrassing,” claims concerned friend Keila Moumouni-Tchouassi. “It’s over, done, no point in getting yourself riled up over losing something good.”

The SFUO has reportedly gotten back together with her ex-girlfriend, the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS).

In response to a request for comment, the UOSU stated they and the university are “doing fine” and are “very happy with each other so far.” The university did not respond to requests for comment.