An independent investigation spurred by recent releases of Fyre Festival documentaries, has revealed that student unions were behind the whole thing. Samantha Odd and Angel Shawarma, the lead investigators, held a press conference earlier this week.
Rame Abdulkader
So you really want to join the mile-high club, huh?
After binge-watching all eight episodes of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, a third-year U of O student went on a cleaning-spree. But it seems that she’s taken Kondo’s advice a little too seriously.
Jane Drummond, the student in question, has been on a “rampage” according to her concerned roommates Kristopher Trent and Jennifer Fremont.
It’s something all of us have been thinking recently, but not wanting to say out loud, out of fear of being labelled as “capitalist scum” by those really cool Marxists in your political thought class. But hear me out, maybe there’s a lot more in dissolving the union than what meets the eye.
In all my four years at this university not once has anyone mentioned the fact that we have a library! I’ve spent nights hunched over in dorm rooms, finishing essays by lamplight, paying for research from journals that I could have accessed for free?? I am livid.
Have you ever heard the saying “less is more”? The University of Ottawa hasn’t. They believe “more is more” with the 80 gazillion pounds of salt they throw onto the ground whenever it drops below zero degrees Celsius.
Short story by Keelan Buck.
A poem by Aerie Carmichael.
Poem by Aerie Carmichael.
Poem by Alex Tyrie.
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