The Tomato

Rest of Canada hops on Blue Jays bandwagon after discovering they exist

Photo: CC, Keith Allison.

In a surprising turn of events, Canada has discovered that it has a baseball team. In an even more surprising turn of events, the team is apparently doing quite well.

The newly discovered team, the Toronto-based  “Blue Jays”,  has allegedly been around since 1976, although few people seem to have known about them until now.

The team is advancing to the second round of the baseball playoffs after beating the Texas Rangers. Tomato reporters were also surprised to learn that Texas had a baseball team good enough to make it to the playoffs.

The team colours for the Blue Jays are blue and white, which means that people wearing those colours aren’t just embracing an odd fall colour scheme. They’re apparently supporting a baseball team.

“I was walking around in my blue shirt when a group of people came pouring out of Father and Sons cheering about this thing called the Blue Jays. They saw my outfit and thought I was a fan too,” said second-year philosophy student Jerome Bryant.

“I just thought they were big fans of birds, I don’t judge, you know, you do you.”

“I’m happy that Toronto finally has a winning team, it’ll do some good for them to be able to finally cheer on a team that has a chance of winning something,” said Chuck Rowland, the coach for the University of Ottawa men’s baseball team.

Baseball isn’t a sport many Canadians watch, so it’s easy to see how the Blue Jays were missed. In fact, few Canadians were aware that sports were played during the hockey off-season, and seem to have only discovered baseball when the baseball playoffs ran into the hockey season.

So few Canadians even understand how baseball is played that some companies are setting up viewing lessons, teaching new fans how to understand what’s happening when they watch the game and when to cheer.

One such company is Baseball for Canucks, which “helps Canadians understand a game that doesn’t involve ice or skates.”

The basics of baseball seem to include hitting a ball that’s thrown at you very fast with a piece of wood, then running around a diamond. It also involves catching a ball and running around a field. 

The most helpful hint comes from Baseball for Canucks, “remember that no fights are going to break out during a baseball game.”

Hopefully the Blue Jays are able to continue their run and inspire Canadians to look for other teams that might be hiding within the country. Who knows, we might even have a basketball team, or something.

The Tomato is a satirical news section.