The Tomato

There are at least 5 active snowbanks outside Minto. Photo: Christine Wang.

Roommates starting to lose hope, issue statement on disappearance

According to his roommates, Michael DiMarco had gone to Minto Sports Complex for an early morning workout and hadn’t returned.

One of his workout buddies, Paula Andreas, claims she last saw him by the weight machines, pumping iron and drinking his pre-workout. Another friend, Geoffrey Donoghue, says he saw Michael leave the Sports Complex and head home up the hill towards Sweetland avenue.

Rescue teams have now narrowed down DiMarco’s location to one of the many snow banks outside of Minto. His disappearance comes days after rescue attempts were made to help students trapped in the deep puddles of water outside of Tabaret.

One of the members of the rescue team spoke with the Tomato. “Students returning home from classes in SITE had reported strange noises coming from the snowbanks outside Minto. They originally thought the source of the weird noises was an OC Transpo bus. But after closer investigation, we discovered the noises were coming from a snowbank.”

The noises are described as sounding like “obscenities towards snowplows, Ottawa, and weather in general” with “a sprinkling of crying.”

The search for DiMarco has entered it’s seventh day. Chuck Anderson, the rescue team lead, explained the difficulties with the rescue attempt.

“It seems as soon as we can get within a foot of the guy, another snow plow comes through and adds to the pile. Currently, the pile is about eightfeet tall, and that’s after having worked on it all morning.”

In addition, Anderson explains the team isn’t sure DiMarco is even in this snow pile.

“It’s our best guess, but we think there may be dozens of other students trapped in the other snowbanks around Minto,” he said.

“We’ve already found two other people, Georgia French, who immediately wanted a Beavertail, and Marcus Overton, who asked for a note excusing him from his midterms.”

DiMarco’s roommates have made a joint statement about his disappearance: “Michael, if you read this, we want you to know that Kelly drank all of your gatorade. She’s really sorry. Also, we sold your Xbox on kijiji.”

Anyone with information about Michael DiMarco’s disappearance, or snowbanks in general, are asked to call Chuck Anderson at 555-232 -1234.