The Tomato

Class of 2013 said to be most peaceful in history

Photo Illustration by Tina Wallace

Former KGB spy turned shirtless Russian president Vladimir Putin was nominated earlier this month for the Nobel Peace Prize. Many consider Putin the favourite to win the prestigious award, a sentiment shared by past award winner Barack Obama who, in an interview with the Tomato, said that in the event of an alien invasion, Putin would be the first and only world leader to jump in a fighter jet and battle for our planet’s survival like Bill Pullman did as the United States’ president in Independence Day.

Though Putin seems to have the award in the bag, there are some other intriguing nominations:

Metta World Peace

The New York Knicks basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest changed his name in 2011 to inspire the world’s youth and advocate for world peace. It is time to recognize all the hard work he has put in to promote world peace by changing his name.

Will Smith

Throughout the years, how many times have we seen Smith onscreen saving the earth and bringing peace to the world? By official count he has saved humanity eight times. Not bad for a guy who got his big break on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

James Bond

Like Will Smith, Bond has saved the world from complete annihilation multiple times. Without his work in the last 50 years, who knows what the likes of Scaramanga, Goldfinger, and Dr. No would have done to our planet. He has also made impressive contributions to the field of unnecessary violence, overt sexism, and reckless driving. He’s a great nominee for the prize, but George Lazenby and Timothy Dalton’s performances as 007 could cost him the Nobel.

Smoke’s Poutinerie

How many times has Smoke’s Poutinerie saved your stomach from greasy food oblivion on late weekend nights?

Miley Cyrus

The Disney star turned controversy magnet is considered a serious contender after what she has done with her tongue and bum in recent months. If she wins, Cyrus has already promised to twerk on the trophy while she licks a sledgehammer. This announcement has caused young fans of Hannah Montana to adopt Cyrus’ new fashion sense, mothers to burn all Hannah Montana merchandise, men to question if they like that sort of thing or not, and feminists to critique the fact that we judge Cyrus for twerking on the trophy but not the trophy for using Cyrus.