Union of Ottawa Critters narrowly votes in R‘Coon’s motion
In arguably the most important election in recent memory, the Union of Ottawa Critters (UOC) voted to extend voting rights to rats on Nov. 13.
In a 20-19 vote split, the motion proposed by Councillor R‘Coon, a longtime rat ally, passed, after three hours of heated debate. The motion rat-ified the affirmative result of Proposition 9 on last month’s ballot, which included the establishment of a formalized rat constituency and the formation of a Specialized Committee on Rat Rights and Wrongs.
The UOC’s primary membership criteria, as outlined in their constitution, includes the distinction of “outdoor critters” and “indoor critters” — only the former of which are afforded membership and representation. As rats have historically straddled the line between outdoor and indoor creatures, the UOC has allowed membership but not voting rights for rats in its organization for the past 30 years.
This will change starting Dec. 25, 2024, when all rodents will be able to vote in the general election. In a press release, the UOC cited the timing of their voting rights extension as “perfect for the holidays” and explained that the holidays are “the best time to show critter dominance and strengthen our numbers.”
The Otter Super PAC (the Rats’ primary opponent) has been notorious for funding anti-rat politicians, and its Critter-Purist policies have been called out by many pro-rat groups. The Otters, who believe that critters must “pick a location— either indoor or outdoor” have been lobbying against the rat vote since the UOC’s inception in 1942.
However, intense lobbying from the Democratic Rodents Advocating for Territorial Supremacy (DRATS) began this year following World Rat Day on April 4, where rodents across the country made their presence known on Parliament Hill in a series of protests that saw multiple divisions of Pest Control deployed.
With more businesses closing their doors in Ottawa, rats have been displaced from bakeries across the city, and have ended up on the streets. Their newfound status as primarily outdoor critters, DRATS argued, entitles rats to the right to vote in the UOC.
In an interview with the Tomato, DRATS emphasized the inequality rats face in the critter hierarchy, stating, “Nobody has a problem with raccoons, even though they sometimes enter houses; it doesn’t compromise their [voting] status in any way. But, when it comes to us rats, it’s suddenly a big issue.”
Rats across Ottawa will be celebrating this victory, but some otters have claimed that rat party members, including one executive, have indicated plans to propose anti-otter bills in the spring. DRATS denied these allegations.
