“Panda Game? More like Panda Lame! You can’t even order Uber Eats in the stadium, so screw that.”
In a defiant display of indifference, Carleton student Mark S. Lowe is calling into question the significance of the annual Panda Game. Lowe has instead chosen to spend his weekend playing the first-person shooter Valorant on his triple-monitor setup. Lowe seems to be baffled by the popularity of the iconic Canadian football match, which also serves as a homecoming for both the U of O and Carleton.
“Why is everyone so worked up about a stupid Panda?” Lowe said, during an interview conducted while he was in a postgame lobby. “I just don’t understand. Why spend hours at a football game when I could spend hours in a competitive digital landscape and actually achieve something?”
When asked to elaborate about his views on football, and leaving his unlit room in general, Lowe remained steadfast in his beliefs. “Panda Game? More like Panda Lame! You can’t even order Uber Eats in the stadium, so screw that.”
Lowe reportedly remained engrossed in his game while throngs of students passed his window, seemingly not even noticing the upper-year Ravens students crying as they made their way out of TD Field and back to campus.
While Lowe has come under fire from some on social media, it’s not hard to see why he feels apathy towards Panda. Carleton, after all, has failed to win the game since 2017. That year was also the year that Donald Trump was inaugurated, for reference. It’s hard to care about Panda if your own football program doesn’t seem to care about it, either.
