Dear Di,
Last night my boyfriend and I had crazy, wild sex. It became so overwhelming that at one point I squirted all over him. He seemed to enjoy it, but it kinda freaked me out. So, where is this liquid coming from? And is it normal?
-Squirtle Power
Dear SP,
Firstly, squirting is perfectly normal and is experienced by a lot of women.
Squirting is caused by stimulating the G-spot, an erogenous zone located on the upper wall of the vagina. By applying pressure to this sensitive area while fully aroused, you are stimulating the Skene’s gland, which normally drains into the urethra.
So, going past basic anatomy, squirting is often believed to be synonymous with female ejaculation—which is definitely not the case! Female ejaculation involves a small amount of milky white fluid being released during climax, while squirting entails a large amount of clear fluid gushing out from the urethra. In reality, squirting is more in line with peeing.
In a recent study conducted by Dr. Samuel Salama and his team, women who reported consistent squirting during sexual stimulation were asked to participate in an experiment to locate the origin of this clear fluid. Each woman’s bladder was empty before sexual arousal, but as sexual stimulation began the bladder started to fill up. After the release of clear liquid the bladder was empty once again. Testing the clear liquid also concluded that it had nearly the same composition as urine, but with higher levels of prostate-specific antigens, an enzyme that is secreted from the prostate gland.
So in the end, squirting is just the involuntarily release of fluid from the bladder during sexual intercourse. It’s not harmful in any way (urine is sterile after all) and can be a new and exciting addition to your sex life.
However, if you’d like to cut down on the involuntary water sports, not much is known on this front, but sex educator Betty Dodson recommends avoiding heavy thrusting inside your vagina and stick to good old clitoral stimulation.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
My girlfriend and I have been fantasizing about asking my roommate to join us in the bedroom. She has always wanted to be dominated by two men, and I’ve always wanted to explore a man’s body, but we’re not really sure how to bring up this subject without making my living situation extremely awkward. Any advice?
-Three Way Performance
Dear TWP,
These situations can be tough, especially with a roommate. My advice would be not to mix “business” with pleasure. Instead, it might be wiser to find someone outside your immediate living arrangements. Besides, there are a number of websites that could help facilitate your three-way fun.
However, I can understand the thrill of wanting to engage in such a potentially explosive situation. It adds a level of excitement and naughtiness to your sex life, but it can also end quite badly and leave you feeling uncomfortable in your own home. If you’re seeking that thrill of asking a person who has not put themselves out there, it may be best to probe a stranger at a bar, or a casual acquaintance. At least if they say no, you’re likely not going to see that person again and have to deal with any extended discomfort.
Remember, the most important thing when introducing a new partner into your bedroom is explicit consent. Make sure that the individual knows what they are signing up for, and be sure to establish boundaries. Are they okay with anal penetration? Are they comfortable engaging with men as well as women? Ask these questions before you participate in sexual play so that it’s clear what is okay to do and what is not. Lastly, always remember to use protection with any new partners.
Love,
Di
Spice things up: sex tips to try out in the new year
1. Talk about sex with your significant other! Discussing what gets you excited can let your partner know how they can improve in bed and better satisfy you.
2. Develop sex signals. It’s not all that sexy to shout out “Hey, let’s fuck”. Instead, find a code word or signal that only the two of you know. That way, when you’re at a public event like a dinner party you can tease the panties off one another.
3. Go to a sex shop and explore their inventory together. Even if you don’t find anything you like it can still be a fun afternoon for the two of you.
4. Have morning sex. It’s a great way to start your day and—since sex is a great workout— you’ll be revitalized for the next 12-14 hours.
5. Step up your role play scenarios. For example, go to a restaurant or a bar and try to pick each other up. It’s super sexy and it will give you those thrills you get when you meet someone for the first time.
