Five reasons to leave the lecture hall

Jane Lytvynenko | Fulcrum Contributor

AFTER A LONG summer wrestling with Rabaska you finally have it: the perfect schedule. Sure, some reviews on make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but at least you have Fridays off. Despite your satisfaction with your timetable, if you walk into the classroom and encounter any of the following, run far, far away.

The crazy professor
Just because the scholar teaching you isn’t wearing a bunny suit—although some do—doesn’t mean he or she is sane. Look for telltale signs of danger, like a naked mole rat scurrying in a cage or an office chair that has been refashioned into a throne. Don’t take any chances if your prof has a maniacal twinkle in their eye, or you might just end up turning into one of their evil minions. Or a rodent.

The journey to class
Sure, that 5:30–8:30 human sexuality course on Thursday evenings really sets up your long weekend, but can you realistically make the journey to Lees Campus in five minutes? If you have to whip out a map of Ottawa just to figure out where you’re going, opt for a class that hits a little closer to home.

That one kid
The prof is OK, the class is close by. You sit down, open your laptop, and just as you’re about to navigate to Facebook you hear the unmistakable voice of that one kid. He raises his hand before the professor even opens the syllabus; he asks a question that has nothing to do with the material; and he relates it to a horrifying personal experience. If the knockoff of the Riddler is in your class, you should run and never look back.

It’s a conspiracy, man
Why is your chemistry professor teaching you how to protest? Who approved a curriculum on the power of The Man? Is your final exam really a real-life reenactment of Project Mayhem?  If your syllabus reminds you more of the Occupy Movement manifesto than the subject you’re supposed to be studying, the only place you should be marching is out those classroom doors.

Fears of cyber revolutions
If you’re going to stick to your perfect schedule, you’re going to have to be able to entertain yourself with the wonders of the Internet when theories class gets boring. If your professor bans electronics, ban the professor.