Lack of communication leaves group members baffled

As the semester draws to a close, final group projects have begun to take over the lives of students at the University of Ottawa. While few students enjoy group projects, some have taken their dislike to extremes, leaving the comfort of their own homes so they don’t have to complete the projects.

“We haven’t seen Leeh Zee since the day our professor told us who was in our groups,” said third-year conflict studies and human rights student Grey Aight. “We’re a little worried, he seemed so excited to contribute that first day but now it’s as if he’s completely disappeared!”

Aight says their group has searched everywhere for their missing member, including the gym, other classes, and his favourite coffee shop.

“I haven’t seen him either,” said Rita Arme, Zee’s roommate. “He came back from that class, stole a bunch of things from our room and took off! I tried to ask him what he was doing or where he was going but he just muttered something about Gatineau Park and left.”

Several other students spoke of seeing a student leave campus with a large bag and carrying an unusual amount of food.

The rest of the group members were so concerned upon hearing this that they thought he had been running from someone or was in danger. A search party involving Ottawa Police was launched, and Zee was eventually found in a park near campus.

It appeared that Zee had been living in the woods since his disappearance. There was a tent set up, and beside it searchers found 30 empty Starbucks cups stacked in a pyramid and empty fast food containers. When he was questioned about his disappearance, Zee said, “The project was a group mark…”

Zee’s group members were relieved to discover he was safe and unharmed, and not at all angry about the more work they had to do because he ran away. He is now under constant watch by both his roommate and members of his other group projects for fear he might attempt to escape once again.

This is not an isolated incident. Students have been disappearing around campus, but it only seems to happen once a group project has been assigned. Other group members are baffled and concerned by the lack of communication from some members, with the only explanation being that they’ve disappeared. If you’re reading this, your group is worried about you. Please do something so we know you haven’t run into the woods.