Di reveals how to cancel plans that were made during lockdown
Dear Di,
During quarantine, I had the pleasure of flirting with various people over text, dating apps, and Snapchat. These flirtatious conversations stemmed from boredom but ended with me promising these people I’d hangout with them or go on dates when lockdown ended. But now that things are opening up, I don’t actually want to see any of these people.
What to do?
-Regretful Flirt
Dear RF,
I think it’s safe to say you aren’t the only one stuck in this predicament. I’m sure many people found themselves bored over quarantine, lonely and locked away in their homes. You’re not the only one who was longing for attention, attempting to find it by swiping through dating apps and reaching out to people you would never have under regular circumstances.
Chatting with people over text and on the phone can be a lot of fun, sometimes the connection with the other person can be pretty strong, so wanting to meet up to do something in real life is natural. Over quarantine, there was lots of time to build these sorts of connections with more than one person. Agreeing to meet up and do something after quarantine seemed like the right thing to do.
Don’t worry, changing your mind is not a bad thing.
Just because you were interested – or acted interested – in someone at the time, does not mean that you have to go through with any plans that you had made. Sure, it sucks when people bail on you, but what’s even worse is being in a situation that you do not want to be in, with someone you do not want to spend time with.
It’s easier said than done, but if you don’t want to do something with someone, then you need to be honest with them right away. Even though it can be difficult to deal with the potential messiness. You might have to put up with some hurt feelings, guilt tripping, or angry words, depending on the person you’re dealing with.
In the end, these minor inconveniences are so much better than continuing to lead someone on and putting yourself in a prolonged uncomfortable position. It’s best to get things over with rather than holding off, and inevitably forcing an even messier split later on.
As much as it sucks, I believe that the best thing to do is to rip off the bandaid and save yourself and others stress.
Good luck, and I hope you are able to cancel all those post-quarantine plans you have no intention of fulfilling
Love,
Di
