Dear Di

Dear Di is the Fulcrum foremost expert in sexual relations
Illustration: Christine Wang/Fulcrum

Embarrassed about squirting? Don’t be

Dear Di, 

Since I found out I am a squirter, I’ve been really embarrassed about it and haven’t been comfortable finishing with anyone since. I want to be able to finish during sex with my boyfriend, but I’m worried that he won’t be into it and that it will kill the whole vibe. I really want to get everything out of sex, but I don’t want gross him out or scare him away. 

Squirtle 

Dear S, 

While squirting is a thrilling experience for some, it’s true that others may not find it so sexy. Regardless of what whoever you’re in bed with thinks, you deserve to feel confident and comfortable during sex — even if things get extra messy when you finish. 

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with squirting. It’s natural, and it feels great. While there are plenty of misconceptions about what it is, the truth is that it’s a mixture of fluids, not just pee. There’s no reason to feel embarrassed about it, it means you feel great, and that’s wonderful.

It might sound awkward, but you definitely should give your partner a heads up. Unfortunately, unleashing a shower on your partner may not be something they want to come as a surprise.

Lucky for you, you’re dealing with your boyfriend, and hopefully he wants you to feel good and will respond positively to you being a squirter. He might even be really excited about it. Trust me, some men love the idea of things getting a lot wetter. 

If he’s not, there are a few things you can explain. Let him know that it’s a very pleasurable feeling that you want to have, and that it shows that he’s doing a great job and making you feel good. If they’re scared of the liquid itself, just explain what it actually is, and they’ll just have to deal with it. If they’re concerned about the cleanup, a towel or two will be enough to keep your sheets dry. 

There is the chance that he won’t be into it at all, and maybe even uncomfortable with it even after a conversation about it. If your partner is genuinely not into it, it’s okay to be upset, but remember that sex is a two person activity and each individuals deserve to experience pleasure to the full extent. 

More likely than not, you’re going to have a great — and slippery —  time in bed moving forward. 

Love, Di