When your Instagram romance turns into a soap opera featuring a surprise fiancée, you know you’ve entered uncharted relationship chaos
Dear Di,
I was in a “relationship” (if you can call it that) with a 30-year-old guy I met on Instagram. It was one of those whirlwind, situationship vibes — you know, where it’s not official, but it’s officially confusing. Everything was going fine-ish until one day, BAM — I got a call from his fiancée. Yeah, you read that right. Apparently, he was getting married, and she had just found out about his extracurricular activities … with me.
Now I’m just here with popcorn in one hand, a facepalm in the other, trying to figure out how I went from cute DMs to starring in a soap opera I didn’t even audition for. Is there a way to avoid this chaos next time, or am I destined to be everyone’s spicy plot twist?
— Situationship Survivor
Dear S.S.,
Oh boy, buckle up—sounds like you just got a front-row seat to “The Bold and the Deceitful”! I mean, nothing screams modern romance like discovering you’re actually a subplot in someone else’s wedding drama. Instagram romance can be a bit like ordering sushi at a gas station: sometimes it’s a delight, but other times…it’s a gastrointestinal disaster waiting to happen.
First off, you have my full permission to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. A fiancée?! That’s a next-level plot twist right there. And listen, you’re not the villain in this story. You’re more like the confused side character who thought they were in a rom-com but ended up in an episode of “Cheaters: Wedding Edition.”
Now, how to avoid this next time? You could try a “30-and-single” background check hotline (if only), but realistically, it’s all about looking for the red flags that scream “I have a secret life.” The secrecy, the inconsistent availability, the refusal to define things—all the textbook signs that the guy you’re seeing might have someone else’s name monogrammed on a towel somewhere.
Honestly, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Imagine being the fiancée—she’s the real loser here, about to marry a dude with suspicious extracurricular activities on his resume. For you, it’s best to keep being your awesome self, but maybe with a bit more caution when someone’s profile says “not looking for anything serious” or “I just like good vibes” (that’s code for “I’ll vibe right into a mess and take you with me”).
Until next time, keep those popcorn kernels handy and remember: You’re way too fabulous to be someone’s plot twist—you deserve to be the main storyline.
Yours in spicy plot twists,
Di
