Dear Di,
My girlfriend suggested something weird last night. Seems one of her friends mentioned the strap-on sex thing to her, so she bought a dildo and strap-on belt, and now she wants to use it. She’s always thinking about how to add some excitement to our sex life, but this one is a bit out there for me. I’m an adventurous guy, but honestly, I don’t know if I’m up to it. I love it when she fingers me during sex, but this strap-on may change the dynamics of our relationship. I love her and worship her. She is always there when I need her, she never complains, and she’s never said no to anything I asked her to do in the bedroom. Will the balance in our relationship still be there after we add this tool?
—Worried About Derrière Dynamics
Dear WADD,
Before I delve into your questions about dynamics, I want to go over some of the perks of this position. Being fucked by your lady in the derrière with a dildo can lead to some delightful orgasm boosts, since not only are there a bunch of nerve endings in the skin surrounding the anus (which is why you’re already a fan of her fingers playing around your backdoor), but there’s also a chance she’ll hit your prostate with her thrusts, which can add a little oompf to your O.
Judging by your question, though, it isn’t the sexual act itself that has you quivering in your tightie whities—it’s the change in power positions. It can be uncomfortable to try something new in the bedroom, especially when you’re used to being the penetrator, not the one with something all up in your ass. While I can understand your apprehension, if you guys have a good thing going, getting fucked in the ass by your woman isn’t going to change anything for the worse. The thrill of doing something unconventional and the strong communication that’ll be necessary between the two of you to successfully pull off a night with the strap-on will likely strengthen your partnership rather than throw off the balance. She’s down with doing what you’re interested in sexually—why not return the favour?
I say give it a go! If you’re uncomfortable when she lubes you up and starts pressing into you, simply tell your honey and try to find a position or different sex act that’ll satisfy you both. Know that what you do in the bedroom won’t define who you are outside of it, and have a lot of fun!
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I’m totally an exhibitionist. I love my body and I love exposing it to the world—I love the exposure so much, you could even say it turns me on—a lot. In light of this, I’ve become a bit of a professional streaker. I run across campus in the nude, and when I get home, I jerk off and have the best orgasms.
So far this year, I’ve managed to streak across campus a grand total of four times. The first three went really well. The fourth happened over reading week, when I thought there would be few enough people on campus that I could take an extended trip (the longer I’m out, the greater the thrill and the eventual payoff). The problem is some students saw me, and I almost didn’t make it back to my pile of clothes before they caught me. Luckily I’m a speedy dude and I was able to shake them and throw my pants back on in time, but now I’m nervous to make another attempt.
What are the actual consequences if I get caught? Am I jeopardizing my academic career through my sexual habits? Is there another way I can turn myself on without running in the buff? I’m still able to get a stiffy and cum without streaking first, but those orgasms just don’t feel as fucking good as the ones I have after a naked adventure. Thanks for your help, girl—and if you saw me around campus, I hope you liked what you saw.
—Naked Runner
Dear NR,
Ah, the kinks of the U of O community—they never cease to amaze me. Streaking is often seen as a great university tradition, and it’s one that hasn’t done too much harm in the past. There can, however, be consequences if you get caught. Section 173 of the Criminal Code in Canada prohibits indecent acts. Since there’s no set definition of what an indecent act is, it’s up to judges to decide in individual cases. Fortunately, my friend, you have precedence on your side—in a number of cases, such as the 1975 R versus Springer case in Regina, Sask., judges declared that streaking is not regarded as indecent because it is not malicious in intent. That means you likely don’t have to worry too much about jail time or heavy fines.
Don’t strip down and take a jog for joy just yet, though, Naked Runner. In October 2011, a U of O student was caught streaking through a residence building at Carleton. A complaint was filed and the police began an investigation, which, according to Carleton’s director of university safety Allan Burns, uncovered that there were intentions behind the act that classified it as more serious than a harmless prank and led to consequences for the student involved.
I can’t with a good conscience advise you to continue on in your buff behaviours in public. You never know who you’ll be running by—wouldn’t it be awkward to see one of your professors as you hit the pavement sans pants? Plus, the U of O has a daycare located on campus—exposure to a child will definitely land you in some well-deserved hot water.
There are a few other ways you can get your jollies without flaunting your Johnson. Part of the reason you’re so turned on after a run is because the blood and adrenaline are pumping through your system like crazy. Going for a run with your clothing on won’t produce the exact same results, but your blood flow will increase, which can lead to better orgasms. Perhaps you’re not so much of an exhibitionist as you are a thrill junkie—try bungee jumping come spring or hit the craziest trails at Ottawa’s nearby ski and snowboard hills. Finally, there are ways to recreate the feeling you get when you’re naked in public. Try masturbating with your door open a crack when you’re not sure when your roommates are coming home—the sense of urgency might just do the trick.
Good luck achieving those top-notch erection explosions, my friend.
Love,
Di
