Dear Di,
My good fortune in frosh fornicating has continued until now, but with more girls entering my man cave these days, I’m getting more iffy about where they’ve been and what they’ve done. Is it rude to ask if they’ve been tested for STIs? I don’t want to kill the vibe but I know it isn’t always easy to know if you have something down there or not.
—Bangin’ Round the Block
Dear BRB,
Paying close attention to your health down under is as important as being careful about who you let into your cave. There are many kinds of STIs, and lots of differences in how and when they can appear, if at all. Regular checkups, ideally after each partner, are the only tried and true way to stay safe in the sack. Many STIs may not appear for four to six weeks after intercourse, or may lie dormant for a longer period of time. This exposes you and any of your erotic partners to problems. A checkup usually involves questions about your sexual history and blood or urine tests, so it’s a little invasive but definitely worth the trip.
When we’re talking about your health, I don’t believe it is ever rude to ask your sexual partner about their history. But make sure you know the context. If it’s 3 a.m. and you’ve waited to ask the girl from the club, your sexual desire may trump your inquiry pre-intercourse. And if your partner says they haven’t been tested, you have a decision to make, my fornicating friend. You have two heads to guide you—in this case, the head up north will serve you better.
While I wish you fortune, be careful and keep your penis protected at all times. I’m hoping you’ve used protection with all your female friends and I encourage you to continue to do so. However, condoms don’t protect against all STIs–like HPV and herpes–so regular checkups and sack smarts will keep your member feeling mighty.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I could swear that I’m living in the Sahara Desert. I’m in the middle of one of the driest, no-sex seasons of my life and my sexual frustration has me wanting to blow off more than just steam. I’m really not down for a quick one night stand, so I want to buy a sex toy. My friend recently got a vibrator and she loves it. I’m a little intimidated by the thought of going to a sex store though, because I have no experience in the world of adult fun. What do you suggest to relieve a little sexual frustration?
—Getting the Right Vibes
Dear GRV,
This is a common conundrum among my fellow gals, and I sympathize with your feeling that there’s still a stigma attached to women’s pleasure toys. Believe me when I say there’s no need to worry.
The great thing is that sex store employees are some of the friendliest folk around. My favourite store is Venus Envy, but there’s also Wicked Wanda’s, Adult Fun Superstore, and a few others in the Ottawa area. No matter your level of sexpertise, go in and ask some questions. They’re there to help. Most importantly, don’t be embarrassed; the journey of 1,000 great orgasms starts with a single touch. If you want some company, ask one of your close friends if they’d be down to come with you.
Sex toys are really about what works for you. What’s best for one doesn’t work for all. Knowing a little bit about yourself and what you like will help you out a lot, so get friendly with yourself before you go shopping.
For your first toy, it’s best to try something with different speeds and on the inexpensive side. You may also want to consider how discreet (noise, colour, etc.) your toy is. There are a variety of prices, materials, sizes, colours, and speeds to sample. You won’t know till you try it, so get vibrating! The pleasure will be all yours..
Love,
Di
