Dear Ty

Illustration: Christine Wang.
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Dear Di,

I honestly can’t stand not having sex for a week when I’m on my period. How can I bring up having period sex with my partner, and what should I do if they say yes?

—Red Menace

Dear RM,

For those who have vaginas, period shaming is a tale as old as time. It’s bad enough with the stained underwear, and extreme bloating, and bullshit you have to deal with when it comes to having your period, and then you’re expected to be celibate!?!? Fear not, Red Menace, period sex is a lot less scary than most people think.  

First thing’s first, talk to your partner about your desire to have sex with them when you’re on your period. Make sure to respect their decision if they say no, even if you think it’s based on some pretty unfair period-discrimination.

Some cultural traditions forbidding period sex, in addition to modern media, have been extremely effective in making some people (mostly guys) not even want to touch a box of tampons, let alone explore a nice bloody vagina in all its crimson glory.

Now if they say yes, you are in for a whole new sexual landscape. But before you get into all the great sexy times, make sure to be protected. During menstruation, the cervix is slightly more open, making it a little easier to transmit infections.

Contrary to popular belief, you can still get pregnant when having intercourse on your period, so make sure you’re covered on that front, whether you rely on birth control, diaphragms, condoms, or any other contraceptive.

If you do end up trying period sex, you’re sure to find out that the female reproductive system is a great wingwoman. As you get aroused, the blood flow will slow, or even stop completely. Don’t believe me? Try masturbating on your period and see what happens.

You should first try having sex on one of your light days, as there will be less blood and other uncomfortable side effects (breast tenderness, bloating etc). Lay down a few towels or old t-shirts to clean up any mess.

In terms of positions, anything where you are on the bottom is the best place to start. I would also recommend taking a shower together afterwards to clean each other up, and for a great round two.

What’s great about having period sex is that orgasming can actually help relieve pain caused by period cramps. During menstruation a woman’s reproductive system is already engorged with blood, making it more sensitive and having mind-numbing, amazing sex on your period that much more likely.



Horny Homework: Period plunge

Once you get more comfortable having sex on your period, this position is great to try. Get down on your hands and knees like you’re doing doggy, then lie down on your stomach and slide a pillow under your hips, because hey, you’re still a little crampy. Your partner perches behind you, separates your legs, and slowly enters you. Have your partner cuddle up to you from on top, while you both soak in the perks of period sex.