A student laments
‘Twas the week before Christmas
And all through the U of O
Every student was studying
Basking in their laptop screens’ glow
Their essays were written with the greatest of care
And they hoped their professors would overlook any errors
The professors were chained unhappily to their desks
While visions of tropical vacations danced in their heads
And my roommate in her sweatpants and I in mine too
Trudged to the library with our homework to do
The weight of our bags strapped to our backs
Made us wish we could destroy our textbooks with an axe
And then, as we walked,
I heard a student cry
“If I tell the school I’m dying, do you think they’ll believe my lie?”
I chuckled to myself and couldn’t help but smile
I’d been wondering the same thing for quite a while
We arrived at the library, ready to work
But soon found it was full of loudly talking jerks
My friend and I shrugged and decided it was time for a snack
So we headed to the bar to toss a few drinks back
Feeling refreshed and just a wee bit drunk
We knew we really had to study or else we would flunk
I opened my book and stared down at the prose
But I found myself yawning and felt my eyes start to close
I knew it was useless, I’d never remember
So I cursed the whole world and the month of December
I threw up my arms and stood up on my chair
And shouted to the rooftops without a single care
“First essays! Then midterms! Then projects galore!
Exams, group work, reading! And you know what’s more?
We have part-time jobs and significant others and friends
Why can’t exam season be over? I want the madness to end!”
I stopped my rant and looked all around
Everyone was staring, so I slowly sat down
Someone shouted, “Shut up, you moron. We’re trying to learn!”
I stared at my book and felt my cheeks start to burn
This time of year has gotten to me; I can’t deny it’s true
But if you’re a student, the same thing could happen to you
I really have to focus now, so I must say goodbye
Merry studying to all and to all a good night!
—Kristyn Filip