Candidate claims that election was marred by voter fraud
The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) by-elections have come and gone, but not everyone is ready to move on.
Andrew Acheson, a candidate for a seat on the Board of Administration (BOA) representing the Faculty of Engineering, is refusing to accept the results of the election after losing.
“I don’t know what else to tell you,” he said. “The whole system is clearly rigged.”
Acheson’s platform was centered around giving people free candy and putting Google-esque nap pods around campus. “I know for a fact bribery works, so I don’t understand how no one could have voted for me,” he said.
Acheson did admit that he didn’t use his time on the campaign trail very effectively.
“Someone leaked the fact that I spent most of the time playing quidditch,” he said. “What a snitch.”
When asked about his position on issues like SFUO finances, transparency, and accountability, Acheson said “Ya, I didn’t really have time to come up with a plan to deal with that stuff. Nap pods though!”
Acheson also stirred up some controversy when he called all U of O students idiots and said all accounting students should be kicked off the campus.
After a final tally, Acheson received zero votes. He had initially been credited with one, but it was later ruled out when moderators realized that someone had actually written “NOT Andrew Acheson” on the ballot.
Because of this result, Acheson concluded that there must have been widespread voter fraud.
“What’s happening is clear, people are voting multiple times for my opponents! It’s all a sham!” he said.
Roméo Ahimakin, president of the SFUO, roundly put down the complaint.
“People voting twice? We can’t even get people to vote once in these things!”
Upon hearing the SFUO’s reaction, Acheson was far from deterred.
“It’s more than voter fraud, okay? That’s right, Luxembourg is messing with our elections,” he said. “It’s all a big scam, our SFUO is weak, and Luxembourg is hacking our elections.”
When asked how one of the world’s smallest countries was hacking a paper ballot system in Canada, Acheson declined to answer.
Acheson also wants students to be wary of distance voting. “It’s definitely a scam. I heard that not one person used distance voting to vote for me,” he said.
Days after the election ended, Acheson says he’s taking the loss hard.
“To be honest, I tried to start a revolution on Tabaret Lawn, but nobody came,” he said. “That damn cold weather, am I right?”
After taking a few days to cool off, Acheson said he had no further plans to protest the election.
“Ya, I did what I could, but I think I’ll just go home and watch Netflix,” he said. “I may also Tweet about it a bit.”
When asked about the possible impact of his rebuke of the democratic process, Acheson didn’t seem concerned.
“What’s the point of having a fair contest if I’m not going to win it?” he said. “I mean who cares if the SFUO runs well or anything?”