The Tomato

After changing up uoZone logins, the U of O decided to go several steps further. Photo: CC, DimaLeon2000. Edits: Jaclyn McRae-Sadik.
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Students raving about awesome new features to course signup service

Recently, the University of Ottawa informed students that the way they access their online information is changing. Now, the university has unveiled some radical updates to its course registration system, Rabaska.

“We were scared to change any aspect of Rabaska, because we know that students loved everything about the classic version and never experienced any problems,” said Tim Thomson, a U of O spokesperson.

Thomson explains that the first change is in how students will log on to the service.

“We’ve completely overhauled the password system to get rid of classic problems like forgetting your password,” he said. “We’re proud to announce that from now on, passwords will be made from students’ favorite emojis—they won’t forget that!”

Thomson then noted that after complaints from concerned parents, the eggplant emoji has been removed as an option.

In an effort to follow current technological trends, Rabaska will now use artificial intelligence to help students select their courses.

“I love how it registers for courses by itself,” said Leslie Davis, a business student at the U of O. “And when it encounters a problem, it sends an angry, expletive-filled letter to the school without me even needing to ask!”

However, these updates have lead to some hiccups. There have been early reports of the system going rogue and switching people’s majors from the biochemistry to witchcraft without telling them, and causing other general mischief.

“It is not your problem anymore, puny human,” reads an email response from “the university”.

In a Google maps-like update, if you smash your laptop on the ground in frustration, a little window will pop up asking if you are experiencing any difficulties with the service.

“It’s like magic. How does it know I’m upset?” said Davis.

“We really broke the budget trying to make Rabaska as awesome as possible,” said Thomson. “Sure, we’ll have to abandon all those construction projects around campus, but trust me, it’s worth it!”

Thomson says that Rabaska will now alert you when there is an open space in a desired course by hijacking your laptop and blaring annoying club music from your speakers, including “#Selfie” by The Chainsmokers.

The new Rabaska has also changed how it makes schedules. From now on, all 8:30 a.m. classes will be hidden from view. “We know they’re not going to come to those early classes anyway, so what’s the point really?” said Thomson.

A Siri-like feature is also in the works for Rabaska, where students can get the wrong information about their courses just by speaking into their phones.

“Sure, Apple thought of it first, but they weren’t as creative in the implementation as we were,” said Thomson.

When asked if the new system will make it easier for students to register for the right courses and avoid constant software glitches, Thomson said “Oh, we didn’t even think of that!”