The Tomato

Geese fighting
Two geese squaring off. Image: Dasser Kamran/Fulcrum
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First rule of geese fight club… what’s geese fight club?

The police broke up a large fight in Vanier between a small group of geese in what was described by witnesses as a ‘fight club’.

The Gainer Geese, a recreational gaggle of geese, was formed this past March to keep other birds in shape. But the gathering on Thursday evening was a special event.

Blueberry, a member at the event, said it was a helpful way of physically blowing off steam.

“Not just tonight’s event but Gainer Geese as a whole has been very fun to be a part of,” said Blueberry, who was visibly enjoying the event. 

The unnamed physical altercation was one of several monthly occurrences where ‘Gainer Geese’ members exert their aggression through activities such as slam poetry or archery.

This month, the members organized an unnamed bodily conflict to release their frustrations; unlike other times, the geese were inspired by the unnamed 1999 film.

Blueberry explained how each member has their own reasons for joining the Gainer Geese.

“This year I couldn’t migrate on time, and it really ruined my year,” he said. “So, Gainer Geese has been a great opportunity to meet others in the same situation.”

Di Daniels, a first-year sexual psychology student who witnessed the event, was very confused by the events she saw unfold. 

“Geese are normally terrifying, but a group of them attacking each other is something else,” she said.

Following the breakup of the events, Gainer Geese will likely not host another event like that again.

“We might just do wingless pottery next month,” said Blueberry. “Chirper has a Groupon.”