The Tomato

University community reacts to astonishing new evidence

Photo by Jennifer Vo

A new multi-disciplinary study by the University of Ottawa has revealed that there is a correlation between studying and student success. The study cites that “students who spend less time partying and more time studying are more likely to have higher university grades.”

Word of this ground-breaking study has left the U of O community in shock as thousands of students are struggling to deal with the repercussions of the new evidence.

The lead scientist behind the study, Obveeus Lee, a professor of advanced neuropsychology at the U of O, said the results are surprising but very persuasive.

“We tested all the common reasons students cite for bad marks,” said Lee, “like unfair marking, exams with uncovered material on them, and bad finals scheduling, but ultimately found there to be no strong correlation between these excuses and students’ final marks.”

He said it was at that point when his team reached a standstill in their research, and they decided to try a shot in the dark and look at the effects of studying. Lee said the results were “unbelievably clear.”

Judy Grief, a fourth-year English student at the U of O, was one of the thousands of students outraged that it took so long for such evidence to be revealed.

“I spent three and a half years cram-studying, complaining about tedious readings, and lamenting professors who don’t respond to my emails the night before an exam,” said Grief.

“I’m upset because I now realize all that time I spent at the bar and watching television could’ve been spent on studying. If only this research could’ve come out earlier, my GPA would’ve been saved.”

Mary-Anne King, president of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO), said the impact of this research has taken the spotlight away from more pressing student issues.

“Nobody is talking about important issues such as toilet paper reform on campus, or the broadcast of the Olympics, because they are all too busy studying,” said King.

“We’re going to have to change our strategy from a focus on peripheral student issues that really affect only those already invested in student politics to arguments about expanding study space during the school year.”

Lee plans to use this study as the basis for future research.

“We’re now beginning to look at whether alcohol consumption affects student essay writing, and if sleep helps with memory recall,” said Lee.

“This study has opened the university community’s eyes to a whole new way of thinking.”