The Tomato

After the U-Pass line reached a staggering length of 2.6 km, the university will open a new residence to accommodate all the straggling U of O students. Photo: Jaclyn McRae-Sadik.

In a quick response, university converts Morisset Library into a makeshift residence

Following complaints from students having to deal with an uncharacteristically long line to get their U-Pass, the University of Ottawa has decided to set up a new residence building to house these stranded students.

Since the line has now backed up to the fourth floor of Morisset Library, the university administration decided to temporarily convert this building into a housing option for as long as it takes to process every student.

Since the student federation’s recent financial troubles have left them unable to deal with this problem effectively, U of O Housing Services has decided to take matters into its own hands.

Not only have they started to remove the library’s collection of books in order to turn the shelves into makeshift beds, but they have also renamed the building Kafka Residence.

“The name is pretty fitting,”  said Aline Long, a third-year business student at the U of O. “At this point, I would literally rather be turned into a giant insect than spend another minute in this line.”

Others are saying that this new residence is an outright necessity, especially since this year’s U-Pass line has already claimed the lives of 57 students who have died of starvation, burst bladders, and sheer boredom.

Hundreds of others have decided to simply drop out and enroll at Carleton, which some consider a fate worse than death.

While students now have a chance to be free from the burden of standing for long periods of time, they will get no reprieve from administrative bureaucracy.

After spending days dealing with a distribution centre that has all the organization and clarity of a Jackson Pollock painting, students must now face the equally confounding process of applying to the Kafka Residence.

“Given the short-term nature of the situation at hand, we tried to make the application process as simple as we could,” said Franz McCauly, a Housing Services representative.

To apply for a room in Kafka Residence, students are first asked to fill out the blue C-52A form which they can pick up on the third floor and hand in on the fifth floor.

After that, they will have to go back down to the first floor to fill out the new revised orange A-52C form, and hand it in on the seventh floor.

Housing Services declined to comment when they were reminded that Morisset Library only has six floors.

The conversion of Morisset into Kafka Residence is set to be completed by Oct. 16, and designers have no doubt the lines will still be going strong.

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