Dear Di

Dear Di is the Fulcrum foremost expert in sexual relations
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Di shares advice on pegging, finances and splitting costs on sex toys

Dear Di,

My current hookup has expressed interest in pegging but neither of us are committed enough to sink money into the necessary toys. Splitting the cost with a hookup makes it seem too much like a relationship. Any advice?

-Peggy

Dear Peggy,

I’m sorry to hear of your dilemma. Yours is certainly not the first correspondence I’ve received with quarries regarding the financial barriers of exploring new areas of sex with a partner. 

It seems to me that you and your partner are in need of a more in depth conversation. Do you both individually gain something from the experience? If not, given the uncommitted nature of your relation I would advise you both seek other or additional partners. An open conversation free of judgement regarding each of your needs and expectations can put things in a much clearer light for both parties.  

As for budgetary concerns, research is key. Someone with a flair for comedy might suggest keeping an eye on grocery flyers for sales on certain produce items, but why resort to that? The sex toy industry is a competitive market, and as the consumer it is up to you to use this to your advantage. There are a number of discussion boards pitting prices against quality. 

Because this is unexplored territory for both of you, be aware that this may be your first and only attempt should either of you find the experience less than satisfactory, no need to burn money on a toy that may only be used one time. 

Sex should be pleasurable for all involved. Don’t be discouraged to explore further if one expedition does not end as planned. Keep in mind, as is the case in all sexual encounters, that the enthusiastic consent of your partner(s) is part of the eroticism. 

Love, 

Di