Dear Di,
I started seeing this girl quite recently, so I don’t know if I’m supposed to get her a gift for Christmas. I mean, we’ve only been on a couple dates and I like her, but I don’t want her to get the wrong idea too soon.
–Christmas Confusion
Dear CC,
Not to worry, the holidays can be a stressful time for all of us, especially if you’re in the process of figuring out your true feelings for a new person in your life.
Given that you’ve only been dating for a brief time, it would probably be a smart move to buy a gift that isn’t too expensive or deeply emotional. Something like a tuque or a scarf.
That being said, you could always modify the kind of gift you buy depending on how you feel towards her right now.
If you feel like things could be getting serious sometime soon, the most genuine gifts are those that are thoughtful, rather than costly. Some people would prefer the expensive gift right away too, but that would typically denote a materialistic, superficial, or needy person, since she’s expecting too much right away.
Something thoughtful and simple could do the trick, but be sure not to buy something overwhelmingly extravagant in case the other person didn’t get you something. You don’t want to make them feel guilty.
Alternatively, if you’re just getting to know each other, you could go for a gift that plays on the memories of the short time you guys have spent together.
If you’re looking to buy some jewellery or clothing, take note of what she currently wears and go from there. If there’s an activity you enjoy together, like video games, films, or music, you could also try adding to her collection. Or, you could go full-blown romantic and plan your next date with two tickets to an event you both can look forward to.
No matter what you choose, she will appreciate the thought behind it if she’s a keeper.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
My boyfriend says he makes New Year’s resolutions every year. He’s kind of leaning on me to make them too, but I think they’re ridiculous. What should I do?
–Resisting Resolutions
Dear RR,
While New Year’s resolutions may seem meaningless to some, they still provide you with the opportunity to reflect on your life and think about what you may want to work on.
For example, you may want to think about how to live a more environmentally friendly life, find ways to improve your income, establish career goals, or think of something thoughtful you can do for your partner.
If your boyfriend is a real keener for resolutions, why not find something you can do together come the new year—join a gym, go bungee jumping, or plan a trip.
Even if you’re not as interested in this topic as he may be, at the very least, it is essential to support each other over the holidays. Instead of shutting him down, talk about what he likes about resolutions, learn where he’s coming from, and why it means something to him.
You also may want to consider taking part in something you may find silly, but your partner may see value. Together you could resolve to show each other more appreciation and gratitude, more spontaneous sex, or better communication.
Despite the difference, you may want to consider compromising with him and giving a New Year’s resolution a shot. You may actually find you learn a bit more about yourself and about him too—just in time for 2017.
Love,
Di
