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“Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely concerned about the fate of oppressed minorities in the Middle East,” said business owner Brett Targus. “But I’m much more concerned about not knowing the fate of my favourite fictional characters in another war-torn hellhole: Westeros.”

In a move that has shocked the world, the United States government has officially separated from Florida, effectively severing all economic, political, cultural, and even geographical ties with the country’s now former fourth-most populous state.