The Tomato

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Construction crews find more treasures

Photo: Marta Kierkus, Edits: Kim Wiens 
As construction continues in the Faculty of Social Sciences (FSS) building  parking lot, more lost treasures are being unearthed. Earlier this month the construction crew found a car from the 1960s under the parking lot. Recent digging progressed slowly after the discovery of the $10,000 worth of fireworks purchased by last year’s SFUO. Workers are concerned that the fireworks might go off and therefore serve their intended purpose of providing U of O students with a brief period of joy.

The crew has now also stumbled upon old Gee-Gees and Raven‘s mascots fighting, the scene beautifully preserved in amber. It was quickly removed and dusted off, then transported to a secure warehouse for anthropology and archaeology students to examine.

A joint Carleton-U of O club was meeting in FSS when they had dug the piece up.  Rachel Bing, a 4th year English student said “it was like an ancient fresco. Except this time it was the ancestor of our current mascot crushing an annoying bird.”

Carleton philosophy student Diane Dreary reported that the bird was “pretending to be dead so it could bounce back and deliver a killing strike when the horse was turned around.”

Beside the car’s gravesite was a mechanical part that appeared familiar to workers. Another hour of digging revealed a buried bulldozer. An archaelogical crew analyzed the preserved treadmarks and determined that one of the heavy machines had actually paved over a bulldozer as well as the previously discovered car. One foreman for the crew said, “the bulldozer operator is still alive, although how that’s at all possible, I have no idea.”

After prying the bulldozer from the earth, workers also discovered an entranceway to a small meeting room. This room lead to a forgotten bar, pool tables and larger room full of couches and chairs. Police officials who inspected the site said it appeared as if a secret group had been meeting there for many years.

Authorities discovered several coded documents in the room and brought in experts to decipher them. Cryptologist Diane Lima worked on the job, pronouncing  it to be her most difficult case to date. “This is a very tough code and I’m not sure we’ll ever know what it says,” Lima said in a statement to a Tomato reporter earlier this week.