The Tomato

The SFUO has discovered a useful policy tool, Obama-Biden memes. Photo: CC, The White House, Pete Souza. Edits: Jaclyn McRae-Sadik.
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Student union hires meme interpreter to decipher hidden information

The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) has been facing a lot of challenges this year: a significant drop in funding, low student engagement numbers, and—worst of all—a lack of free cookies from PIVIK.

Luckily, while browsing the Internet at 1 a.m., SFUO president Roméo Ahimakin found the answer to all of their problems—Obama-Biden memes.

“To be honest, I was just putting off doing an assignment,” said Ahimakin. “But as I was scrolling through funny Obama-Biden memes, I realized just how powerful they really are.”

When asked if American political memes were really relevant to Ottawa student politics, Ahimakin looked shocked.

“If Obama and Biden can govern a country for eight years, I think their Internet likeness can help our student union flourish,” he said, brushing over the fact that these were in fact only images of the pair with words photoshopped over them. “At first you think the memes are just about U.S. politics, but if you go deeper you will see that they apply to local student politics as well.”

And it appears he’s correct. On page 300 of Google results, one meme features Joe Biden with the caption “I’m going to make U of O students wait four hours for a U-Pass,” and Obama replying, “Joe, that’s a bad idea.”

Another meme  reads “Let’s set all the fireworks off in the green space and see what happens.” As always, Obama shuts Biden down with a sober, “No, Joe.”

To make the most of this newly uncovered treasure trove of wisdom, the SFUO will be hiring a meme interpreter to really examine the photos and tell the student executives how to proceed.

“I’ve never worked with a student union before, so this should be fun,” said Good Guy Greg McDoge, the SFUO’s new meme interpreter.

“Lot’s of these memes have more policy meaning behind them than meets the eye,” he said, pointing to one as an example.

“Biden: Just let me play it once. Obama: Joe, we’re not playing Hotline Bling at the graduation ceremony.”

“What this really means,” said McDoge, “is that the school is clamouring for more spirit, and the SFUO should start planning more social events to get students excited.”

“It’s very obvious, I don’t know how you didn’t get that.”

McDoge said the memes can even help with the SFUO’s budget concerns.

For example: “Biden: Come on, it’ll be fun!” Obama: “Joe, we’re not blowing the rest of the SFUO’s general fund on a drone.”

“What this clearly means is that while many people are advocating for financial conservatism in the face of current budget constraints, an investment in future productivity is what will need to succeed in the long-term,” said McDoge. “Duh.”

Ahimakin said he’s been blown away by the results so far.

“Since we started consulting the memes, the SFUO’s Board of Administration hasn’t disagreed with our actions once,” he said. “Our policy meetings have had more drive and direction than ever before.”

“Thanks, Obama-Biden memes.”