The Tomato

A person drowning in snow
For some it's hard to keep head above snow. Illustration: Dasser Kamran/Fulcrum

‘Snow way’ says plowing services president

The Snow Negation and Organization Watchboard (SNOW) of Ottawa has changed its policy for snow removal in the city, requiring at least three feet of snow before plowing.

“Instead of plowing immediately following the snowfall, our plows will now wait for precipitation to accumulate,” said SNOW director, Frosty Z. Snowman.

The change follows the irregular snow patterns and drastic weather changes of previous years, which made plowing inconvenient for the company.

“It’s simply more efficient to clear it all at once than going out, waiting a day or so, and then clearing again.”

“We would often receive calls for plowing as soon as snow would begin,” explained Snowman. “But you can’t clear something that isn’t there.”

Snowman went on to remind residents and business owners to not shovel snow onto their neighbours’ property.

“We haven’t gotten many complaints about this, but I’ve experienced it first-hand. It’s especially annoying when you let out your pets and they dive into a large pile of snow, so thanks for the extra work, Martin.”

Di Daniels, a Sandy Hill resident and second-year common law student, is one of several residents who have protested the change.

“Why do we have to wait for three feet for the roads to be cleared? I’m only 4’11, I could very easily drown in it,” she said. “Also, what about people with cars?”

SNOW claims to have coordinated this arrangement with the city of Ottawa following several months of discussion.

“I can assure everyone that our six-email long thread with the city was very extensive and communicative,” said Snowman.